D241271Casual Contributor
Just need to let it out.
Hi there, to whoever is reading this. I've just finished another week, and really need to let it out. I'm just getting tired of coming home in tears, and need it to stop.
It's all caused by work. This week the base ball bat has been shared between a few staff. The first being a junior, who is giving instructions, with a hint of courtesy. I hold please and thank you as high necessities in society. She isn't responding to my emails, supplying info I need too late, and generally being not nice. I snapped this week and politely asked if she could use please in her emails, to help our team relationship. Obviously no response.
The next blow was being called ungrateful.
ive always provided for myself, and worked above and beyond at work. The last 5 or so years resulting in working around and extra 100 hours per month, above other staff.
i bought my manager a donut, for lunch on Tuesday. The next day he gave me half of the same thing. I thought he was returning what I'd given. I asked this and explained I was confused by the gesture. Today they called be ungrateful for it. This person had helped me through a messy separation and divorce, and as a thank you I'd knitted them a cardigan, re-done a couple of times as I wanted it to be perfect. I'd asked them before, if they would like it, shown them the design, and they chose the wool colour. It fitted perfect. A week later their daughter asked to have it and they gave it away.
This hurt. I've only ever knitted for my dad and my husband. They knew this.
The third is a guy who has previously send 'pictures' of himself to me. I've shrugged it off, and shown no interest in a relationship. He seems to now blow hot and cold with no reason. His temper and snappiness scares me.
Everyday is something else. They are overloading me with work on the one hand, and then making me feel so useless on the other.
Confused is an understatement. I'm now selling my house, in the hope that I can the return to the UK, and my family. This will mean leaving my daughter here in Oz, with her dad (though she's 24, but single).
i just fall into this really dark pit at work, the pain hurts too much and I don't know where to go to stop it.
I then pull my socks up, patch the wounds, and then out to battle the next day.
im just tired of this cycle, and not having the emotional strength to deal with all this abuse.
I get told I'm wrong, and I just don't know how to think.
I'm not expecting any reply, I just need to let this out. Ihave seen many on this site that are suffering. This post is my first and it's more a case of "hi everyone, here I am and I understand you too".
ive always been there for others. My nature is that I'm better when I can do that. At the moment I'm too inside my little world and just need a time out.
stay safe.
