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I don't know where else to turn...

I don't know where else to turn...

  1. 15 weeks ago my wife walked out the door at 7:30 in the morning, with no warning and no words of where she was going. She left her four children and my daughter in my care.. she didn't take her wallet, her car or any clothes. Only her phone which was switched off. I filed a missing persons report the following morning and after 4 days she contacted the police to say she was safe but did not want her whereabouts known.

2 days later I received an intervention order against me which included her and her children. I had, when I found out she was safe, and had run off with a man, I got angry and I broke my guitar which she had bought me and send a photo saying this is how she made me feel. This The grounds of the intervention order and I know it was wrong and accept that. She knows I'm not a violent person and it was no threat to her. She then also accused me of sexual assault 3 1/2 years earlier. But the night/party she claimed this happened after actually was 6 years ago... And there is no way I did what she accused me of.. but this is just the tip of how everything has gone sideways for me since that day. I will add that my wife and I had not been fighting or arguing and I thought that everything was going fine...

12 replies

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In response to: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

@Wazimo Welcome to the forums.

I’m sorry you are here under such a stressful situation. Do you have a counsellor?

Are you still caring for the children?

I’m at a loss for words, but remember well the lies my ex told to cover his affair, so in part, I really understood the injustice you are feeling. It is a double hurt, especially when you have not done what you are accused of.

Please seek help your yourself. This is an extremely stressful time for you. Sending kind thoughts your way.

In response to: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Hi and welcome, @Wazimo . I'm sorry to hear about your recent shocks. It must be a hard struggle to come to terms with them, while also looking after children.

I'm wondering if you have a supportive GP or counsellor? To help you through, at this time? The GP can refer you for up to 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year.

Please look after yourself at this time.

In response to: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Sounds like she is trying to justify her affair

In response to: Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Welcome to the forums @Dammit. I must say I agree with you.

I hope you feel free to join in anywhere you feel comfortable.

In response to: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Thankyou all.. it's reassuring to feel safe to teach out. No, the children are not in my care anymore, her 3 younger kids (15, 11 and 11) went to their dad's while she was missing.. and are still with him. I am not allowed to contact them because of the intervention order, and the twins I basically raised for the last 8 years with her 😔

Her eldest daughter (18) has never met her real father and has claimed me as her own.. but my now estranged wife has claimed that she chose me over her mother and has had no contact with her for the last 15 weeks. And my children (qt,13

In response to: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

My children ( 15,13 and 10) have just lost the stepp mother of 8 years with NO explanation... She has also left me in debt (all the bills in her name were paid up to date, but the 2 bills in my name were over $1000 overdue) and both of our cars are in her name, so I have literally nothing.. I am seeing and talking to both my GP and psychologist regularly... But I am do lost and broken... And scared

In response to: Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Hello @Wazimo thanks for sharing what you are going through. What a difficult and complex situation you find yourself in

I'm glad to hear you have some professional support on your side through this, and of course we are all here for you on the forums too.

Just a quick forum tip, if you hit the @ key a drop down list will appear and you can choose a member's name so they get notified of your response to them

Keep reaching out Wazimo.

Jupiter

In response to: Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

@Wazimo Sorry to hear that you feel so broken, and that all of this came out of nowhere for you. Also that you've now had to lose contact with the children that you've been raising for the last 8 years.

I'm glad you're seeing your GP and psychologist regularly for support.

Good luck managing the debts you've been left with, as well as everything else...

In response to: Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Thankyou, to you, and the others who have commented... It's so difficult to feel it's ok to reach out...you have all already made me feel safe. I can't tell how appreciative of that I am

In response to: Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Re: I don't know where else to turn...

Thankyou for your kind words... It's the children I hurt most for, especially the eldest... Her mother was the one person she was supposed to be able to always rely on... And she has been abandoned, and it feels like my fault. We have discussed it, and she doesn't blame me, at all, yet I still feel responsible, because as parents we're supposed to protect our children... And at the moment I feel like they've all been hurt, just to get at me . . And I feel that I have no power or control over any of it to fix it for the kids 😔

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