lost my love and my career all at once.

@pleasebegentle. I'm sorry to hear you are hurting. Sometimes we need something dramatic to happen before we seek professional help. Going through such hard times and then to have a relationship end - it's a lot of stress to deal with.
I understand the desire to just sleep and hope when you wake up everything will be right. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
When do you get to see your counselor? Soon I hope.

Hi pleasebegentle. So sad you feel as though you've lost this girl. Could you write to her and apologise for being stubborn (which is what you were). Sometimes when people we love try to help us and we're not ready to accept or admit we need help, stubborn pride stops us and we tend to push the ones we love most away. I would try writing and explaining why you behaved as you did. Let her know you are going to counselling and ask her if she would re-consider. I'm sure if she loves you, she would be willing to give you another go. I know if it was me and my bf begged me for a second chance I would. Ask her if she would be willing to attend counselling with you. That way, she would know how genuine you are about re-establishing your relationship.

Hi @pleasebegentle, welcome to the Forums. You sound completely heart-broken. But even from this low place are able to do something constructive in the form of starting counselling. That's really promising.

I reckon that relationships are all about timing. We can meet the right person at the wrong time and have it not work out. Or that same person down the track and find it all fits perfectly. Right now it sounds like you need to focus on yourself. Get your mental health to a better place. Maybe sort out work down the track.

I would imagine that any relationship will be better and easier from that place. I wish you well pleasebegentle. It would be great to hear how you go in counselling.

Hi, @pleasebegentle, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I'm in a similar situation, but on the side of your girlfriend. I have a partner who has destroyed our love. It's a terrible feeling. And yes, sometimes there is a point of no return. I'm almost there.

However, time can be your great ally. Perhaps, if you pull yourself together, get help, and fix your life, in six more months or in a year, you can see your ex again and may be she'll fall for you. What probably happened to her is that the man she fell in love with changed and hurt her. But, if she encounters the sweet man she fell for some time ago, she might fall for him again. Do you get what I'm saying?

I'm about to break with my man because he has changed so much I can barely recognize him. Now he's aggressive, depressed, stubborn, shuts me off every time he wants to, he even cheats. I don't know who he is anymore. But if his old self came back for good, I would take him back and work on the trust issues, because I have truly loved him with all my heart.

I hope you can find a way to fix your heart and your life.

Tons of blessings!

Work & Love, Know how that feels, big fat double wammy! You're probably still in disbelief / shock. Give yourself time. This doesn't have to define you. Go help out an op shop in between jobs, stay connected with people. Good job reaching out here.
Sending you a cloud of peace. All will be well. Big hug xox

You have all said some truths. It is super hard. But she has made it clear she doesn't love me. As they say truth sets you free and i think that's all she wanted was to be free of me and just strung me along until she got the guts to say it. But destroyed me doing it in such a nasty way. And that had a huge effected on me at work too. But thank you all for your awesome words.

Hello, @pleasebegentle. I'm so sorry to hear this. I can imagine how heartbroken you are now. The only hope now is that the next time you love a girl, you'll know how not to push her away.

I hope that these messages help you to feel less lonely. Know that there are always second chances in life, no matter how big our mistakes. We can all learn and get to be better. And we can all try again.

I send you a hug. And blessings to heal your heart.