Partner with both MH issues and cancer

Thanks @Former-Member ... good idea for a new thread, and thanks for the tag. I have subscribed to it now, so will get any updates. Developing a routine can be really hard, especially when fitting in numerous specialist appointments and treatment appointments. Much of the time its very much a day to day proposition, with plans constantly changing due to illness and altered treatment needs etc.

My husband is ex military .. diagnosed with PTSD from service in Vietnam. Was diagnosed with kidney cancer about 9 years ago and had a kidney removed. Then almost 3 years ago he was struck down with Stage IV Melanoma which had spread to his lungs. Soon after he was also diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease and the depression that traditionally comes with it. He is also an alcoholic so he has many things contributing to both his depression and his anxiety. His cancer is now in remission thanks to ground breaking new treatments of Immunotherapy. It was all very new when he first had the treatment as a trial patient. Although currently in remission, we know it can come back any time, and often very suddenly. It can be a waiting game in a lot of respects, and thats very hard for both of us. And we now live with numerous other auto immune disorders thanks to the immunotherapy knocking out his endocrine system. So yeah .. life with a partner with pre existing MH issues, and subsequently cancer ... is very very difficult.

I would welcome any suggestions from others dealing with similar things to @Former-Member and myself. And if anyone would like to talk about their experiences, I am very happy to talk. If I can be of any assistance at all, it would make me very happy. Its also a learning thing .. there is always more we can learn as to how best to deal with these matters. And everyone is different .. no right or wrongs.

Sherry 🌺

@Former-Member @Former-Member @RMG ( RMG we havent met but *waves hello*) Hey ladies just wanted to say how much I am thinking of you all during this time and sending caring and kind wishes to you and your partners way. Love always peaxxx

Thanks @Bunniekins 😁

Was feeling a bit stressed this week. Partly perhaps due to things being well out of sync and I need to step up and be more proactive into getting myself organised.

Mr Darcy more often than not has been crying and ruminating for an hour or two when he comes to bed and has not been sleeping well (neither have I) and has been sleeping in. He likes to get up before me so I have enjoyed staying in bed too, consequently though his new eating regimen is way out and I have been tired. I think his latest psych drug change has been contributing as it did help with sleep and dose reduction can contribute to insomnia. He is 'on the go' for most of the day although at slow but steady pace, is task oriented (often doing things in an illogical way).

@Former-Member Darcy and @Former-Member this all must be so hard on you both if you ever and I mean ever need a shoulder to cry on please tag me. @Former-Member my ex's mother recently had pancreatic cancer so I can appreciate I think a bit anyway of how you are feeliing at this time. Tag me hunny. Love to you both pea xx

life with a partner with pre existing MH issues, and subsequently cancer ... is very very difficult., sending you lots of tender hugs and thinking of you xx @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @RMG

Thank you. I'm worried his bipolar will be activated again during his cancer treatment.

@RMG

When Mr Darcy was in hospital I ensured there was liaison between surgical and psych team and will continue to ensure that meds are reviewed regularly and appropriate consideration is given. Certainly don't want psychosis on top of everything else.

We saw the oncologist yesterday and I get the impression that at his appt next week we will be given an education session and Mr Darcy will get his first dose of chemo, the regimen they are using is one where he is less likely to lose his hair, something he was terribly worried about (and did not find my suggestion of a mullet wig amusing).

How are things at your end @RMG , I know it is early days but was wondering if surgery is being considered.

@Former-Member I do so often think of you and even at our appt yesterday voiced concerns about steroid use given your experience. The doc said in Mr D's case the dose would be relatively low and a 'wait and see' approach is best.

@Bunniekins I am almost too scared to ask how your ex MIL fared with her pancreatic cancer.

@Former-Member funny Mr Darcy is worried about his hair God bless him. I am sure he will look very sexy hairless. Re ex mother in law the cancer had spread to her lungs and other organs. It was too far gone for chemo. Am pleased though that Mr Darcy's cancer has not spread like that. I am sending you and Mr Darcy kind and caring wishes over these coming weeks and days. Please keep tagging me Darcy and let me know how everything is going for you both. Love peaxx

@Bunniekins

I think it was not just being bald but the thought of "all over" hair loss that was alarming Mr D.