Pretending to be fine

I guess the issue with stgma in the workplace is tied to the notion of competence. In a competitive environment people use whatever edge they can get ahead. Not justifying it.

I have not been in the "workplace" provided by others for 30 years. Mostly I work from home part-time and move in professional and personal development groups. There the stigma is concerned with the notion of goodness or competence and ability to deal with children. I experimented with excluding a few trigger words like "suicide" and "schizophrenia" and "ward of the state" from my vocab, and found some stigma fell away.

Yet I still encounetered all sorts of bigotry, aggression, domination and power ploys.

I guess a confession re MI can be giving the unscrupulous an advantage.

I have found a way to admit my feelings without really faking it, so it doesnt feel inauthentic to me. I can chat with my local checkout chics about dealing with customers all day where they need to put up masks and then drop them and chat "for real" sometimes.

I agree there needs to be more understanding about MI. I was really pleased when Alain de Botton started his talk with the statements .. admitting his "own crazy" .. and stating that to be honest as adults we all need to admit our craziness ... to each other

but it can also be a dog eat dog world. I guess it is about finding people you can trust.

We havent "talked" before @Bast. Nice to meet you.

I know how you feel, I recently quit my job as it all got too much for me in the end I had to be honest with the boss but I was lucky they were good with me. I more so have to pretend that everyting is okay with my partner as she herself has depression, so I feel that I have to be the strong one even though I am breaking inside. When I do show a bit of weakness she holds it against me and gets angry at me for having a bad day. I don't know what to do!?

Hi Pokie19

I am so proud that you have managed to deal with an unbearable work situation - I so wish I could. It is incredibly difficult to experience DV and horrible for any chance you have at feeling better. Does your partner have the right treatment? Sceaming and yelling at you sounds way beyond depression.

I would like to suggest that it is important to sit down and discuss the issues when you are both calm and feeling up to it. I note that your current distress may also require support - think about psychologists for 2 or Relationships Australia as options.

Lotsa Luv

Bast

Hi Applebossom

I really appreciated your reply. It is true that authenticity is a rarity and the application of the 'mask' matters. We all have labels/diagnosis that can really harm. I (as part of my work) constantly question how come diabetes is more palatable than a diagnosis of a MI issue. I have qualifications to work in mental health and yet know I have to be seen as asymptomatic. Exhausting+++

Lotsa luv

Bast

Yes I have noticed that too about diabetes @Bast ... and I mostly hold my tongue on my opinions about that matter ...hmmm ...as by the time friends are seriously diabetic it is too hard to argue them about health ... education about nutrition has come along way and it is great that the internet is there so we can learn if we are interested ... then there are the big pharma conspiracy theories from the alternatives ...

I believe them .. but find the tone of the alternates a bit blaming and catastrophising ... so that I get on my high horse and ... say well both my parents were schizophrenic ... and I cant get anyone to lock me up kind a thing ... if we men tion the slightest bit of paranoia ... others can come crashing down on us ... ra ra ra

bottom line ... its a crazy world out there ..

Hi @Former-Member

My ex husband worked in IT when he was still vulnerable ... he could get through the week at the office with barely saying a word to anybody outside of scheduled meetings ... so he was lonely and that stage I was still very supportive of him ...and yes in some ways IT can accomodate a range of personality types from nerd to Big Bang theory ... but the job has to get done ... and there are often big bikkies at stake .. once my ex lost his company a million dollars ... but they didnt sack him ?? its the way it goes ...