Define_normalSenior Contributor
(trigger warning) miscarrige/babydeath
hi guys im pretty much putting a trigger warning on this whole post as it is about miscarriges and baby deaths but im struggling right now and i really need help.
Content/trigger warning
so my sister recently just lost her baby boy and i feel really bad for her as he had died at 14 weeks gestation but they canceled her 15 week ultrasoud because of covid and didnt find out till her 20week scan. they had to give her medication to help her body realise the baby died and detatch it then they induced labour.
i have also experienced a similar thing and usually i dont let it get to me that much. i lost a baby girl at 13 weeks and 3 days gestation but the differences in how i was treated and how my sister has been treated has me really upset. i know we were at different hopitals in different states but for my sister they gently cleaned the baby as best they could and wrapped him up in a special wrap and let my sister and her partner cuddle him and take photos then they got prints of his feet and hands and have set up for them to talk to a therapist for 5 sessions and a social worker is helping them organise a cremation and putting the ashes in a special keepsake for them.
all i got was a certificate of birth and death and told it was a girl and they would deal with the "fetus".
it upset me so much at the time but i slowly worked through it but this has brought it all back up again. i am very close with my sister and i dont want her to know that i am upset because i want to be there for her especially since our mother is being very insensitive to the situation.
ive only ever told a counsellor about this i have never told anyone else not even my partner because even though he is the father of our little angel he was away at uni his holidays were going to line up with my 20 week scan and i was going to surprise him then but i never got to tell him. so now he doesnt understand why its upsetting me so much but i dont know how to tell him without getting him angry i didnt tell him.
i have also experienced a similar thing and usually i dont let it get to me that much. i lost a baby girl at 13 weeks and 3 days gestation but the differences in how i was treated and how my sister has been treated has me really upset. i know we were at different hopitals in different states but for my sister they gently cleaned the baby as best they could and wrapped him up in a special wrap and let my sister and her partner cuddle him and take photos then they got prints of his feet and hands and have set up for them to talk to a therapist for 5 sessions and a social worker is helping them organise a cremation and putting the ashes in a special keepsake for them.
all i got was a certificate of birth and death and told it was a girl and they would deal with the "fetus".
it upset me so much at the time but i slowly worked through it but this has brought it all back up again. i am very close with my sister and i dont want her to know that i am upset because i want to be there for her especially since our mother is being very insensitive to the situation.
ive only ever told a counsellor about this i have never told anyone else not even my partner because even though he is the father of our little angel he was away at uni his holidays were going to line up with my 20 week scan and i was going to surprise him then but i never got to tell him. so now he doesnt understand why its upsetting me so much but i dont know how to tell him without getting him angry i didnt tell him.
