Hello@Aniblax
I know what you mean, I went through this too but it's just part of the process sometimes because we've weened ourselves off the meds, it may even be like a withrawal symptom, I had similar things happen, who knows what rubbish and programming they put into them, I certainly wouldn't trust them.
The meds don't fix or solve our problems, they only suppress them under the carpet.
Personally i'd say that if you have gone 6 months without meds then that's great and your system would be reasonably clean and from what you have said and in my view it would be best to stay off them and it's a great time to get into meditation (self-enquiry), because if you start taking them then as you already know and have said it's very unpleasant, depending on what you are taking it could range from lethargy, weight gain, docile, numb, tired, dull, lifeless and further lead to needing addition meds for newly gained depression etc. it's a merry go round and in my experience the system is horribly corrupt, though it will be getting it's karma soon.
In my experience medications are like trimming the leaves of the weeds, as we know it isn't really a solution, it's only a temporary suppression and it's only a matter of time before it comes back unless it is pulled by the root, but no psychs or system tells people how to get to the root, largely because they don't even know themselves but they also just want customers and clients.
If we truly want to address the weeds correctly i.e the weeds as an analogy of the things we face such as suicidal thoughts behaviours emotions, depression, anxiety, fear etc
Then we must turn inward to the source of them which is the thoughts, and how to get them by the root? Well there is a process called self-enquiry meditation which is a way to do that (you can look it up) it's about questioning into the identity character little "me" that creates the weeds in the first place to recognise that we aren't those thoughts and we don't have to be those characters. Not to mention you will also find god within yourself when you go far enough, It's the only true meditation unlike any other and it's very easy.
I'm very much against medication, not 100% there are exceptions, but in most cases it's completely unecessary, it's poison in my oppinion because it only makes things worse and drags things out to keep the customer coming back, temporary states of feeling ok and often creates even more problems to then get us on something else and before we know it we're being tested as guinea pigs for a corrupt and evil system which fortunately won't be around much longer largely because they will all be made redundant once i'm done with exposing everything and bringing new knowledge about the cure for mental illness which I have found and can work for everyone.
Having said that, you know whats best for you, I don't know the full extent of your unique situation and i'm not here to tell you what to do, it's your body, your life and always your choice, I can only let you know from lived experience, which is by the way - far more experience and value than any so called "professional" of which most are asleep anyway.
It's like choosing to listen to either the experienced pilot who knows the flight, who knows the storms and how to navigate the aircraft back home, or choosing the academic who has never flown before and they have only read about flying in thier books, the only reason they have any percieved "authority" on the matter is because we give it to them by the brainwashing on the masses to hold "education" so unjustifyingly high when it comes to mental health.
There's alot more I can say about all that but i'm not going to go into all that just now in a forum post, all I will say is justice for all "mentally ill" people is coming and any psychiatrist reading this I can only advise you to start looking for a new career path before your redundancy comes.
Staying on topic, To directly give you the direction needed to get to the root of the weeds,
In short it is a matter of replacing medication with the correct meditation which is self-enquiry, healthy food, correct yoga (classical hatha), time with nature, and going inward.
Also I suggest reading my post called "Feeling Suicidal - Then, you may need to read this" i'm sure there will be something there for you.
Wishing you wellness and clarity,
Namaskaram,
Guiding_Light
