Hi how are you getting along now?
Money is not the binding factor in relationships. One way of looking at this is by reversing the roles (him working with you at home) and see this makes no difference if you appreciate, respect and love each other. Plus also his 'idea' of joint bank account and moving in paying rent is actually not a financial gain when living with your partner? So either something left out there or I misunderstood this plan of his?
What I read in your first post was:
- he calls me names
- he is just using me
- and using our baby as a weapon
You mentioned he's a drug user and he calls you selfish too and these things have their own critical aspects, but I am more concerned about the fact there seems to be little or no respect and 'using the baby as a weapon (I think you were referencing finacial abuse related to your baby) this is probably the biggest concern, along with the verbal abuse intending to belittle you.
Many people associate abuse with something that is only physical or possibly sexual. But emotional and financial abuse weighs in at the exact same level with its own possibly long term effects. That with the fact that infants brain growth in the first 3 years through what they see, hear, feel, learn has been documented as the critical time that can affect a child in adolescent or even towards adulthood.
Therefore, I'd highly recommend you seek guidance by a social worker or even family violence center. It doesn't sound as though these things will just get better on their own. If you still want to continue a relationship with this person then they would need to mend themselves (again through family support services) first before being in such a relationship, especially when a child or baby is involved.
If you do happen to see this post and others in support of helping you here, please give us a reply back. This process of getting away from abuse can take a while, and getting the help you need is the first step.
