Having trouble connecting to reality

hi all

my gp told me today that i'm not far off an involutary medical admission and although i heard her speak the words (knowing she doesn't talk like this often) i am struggling to connect to the reality of the situation. we went through the process of setting some goals for the coming week, to improve my self care, but i'm really scared to try.

the disconnect between what she is saying and how I feel is a massive chasam. have been feeling fine - but recognise behaviours have been pretty bad for a while now -so kinda only a matter of time that body started to protest.

how do others find motivation to do what needs to be done?

i know i don't want to be sent to hospital - but that kinda doesn't seem like enough...when my head is telling me that i'm okay - that wont happen

btw my gp is a good egg - she does'nt say this kind of stuff lightly - i know she also doesn't want me to have to be admitted

oh i don't know what I'm even asking - ...i'm just trying to get my head around it I think