How do you cope with parenting with a MI

Hi @Princessmolly

Thank you for your post 🙂

We have a lot of parents on here with kiddos of all ages. @Appleblossom @Former-Member @BlueBay @Faith-and-Hope come to mind, and to any others feel free to jump in and offer any thoughts, support, advice to Princessmolly if you like.

It sounds like you are really reflecting on your behaviour and you are trying to be self aware. You've noticed your parenting style and are concerned that your actions may be impacting your children/family. While you don't seem to like yourself or the way you are responding to your family, even just having that self-awareness is a tremendous gift and asset to engaging in personal reflection, then making change and growing as a partner and parent.

I am not sure I can offer any any advice parent-to-parent, as I am just pregnant with my first right now. But one book I have read recently that really resonated with me was "Kids Are Worth It! Giving your child the gift of inner-discipline" by Barbara Colorosso. She encourages parents to always approach their children with dignity and respect, irrespective of the circumstances they are facing. The book prompted in me a great deal of personal reflection about how I would have otherwise 'automatically' responded to various parenting situations etc. Somewhat confronting to think about, but incredibly valuable nonetheless.

It's good you have been able to confine in your sister. I hope you find the Forums a safe and welcoming space where you can meet other parents and friends to confide in too. Take care of yourself.

Hi @Princessmolly. I truly understand your fears and frustrations with regard to your parenting skills. But you are aware of what you don't want to do or say . That's a start. My parenting guilt was severe at one point when my negative self talk wouldn't shut up. I decided to write a list of pparenting accomplishments that I had achieved. It was very hard to write. But every time a negative parenting voive would start up, I would read my list of positives. It didn't happen overnight but eventually I stopped worrying so much. Now I notice when my son has been good. I tell him.
Talking to a counselor about this can help.
Making sure you have down time (your time).
And when things get overwhelming and you think you may say or do something you'd regret, the child gets time out. My mum lives close - he goes to her home when my bloods been boiling.
Speak to your family. Let then know you want to change. Advise them that sometimes you may need to walk away mid conversation, while you are learning new coping techniques. I think they'd be proud of you?