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Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

bear7Casual Contributor20 Apr 2020, 4:46 pm AEST

Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

I've been with my current psychologist for over a year and it's just started getting to me, whatever problem I have that I tell her about, she always has a bigger more spectacular version which she spends much session time telling me about. For example the most recent one was with all the social distancing I was getting flashbacks to when I was severely bullied in primary school. Not having had such severe flashbacks I told her about them, hoping she might have some techniques or hints on how to deal with them, instead I got "I got bullied all through primary and high school and university" with details, it's like she thinks I"m HER psychologist. I'm tired of it, sick of her life intruding on every fortnightly session I just want out. I'm going to talk to my NDIS co coordinator and see if he can help me get out of this, and maybe even scout around for recommendations for a psychologist who will actually give me help.

4 replies

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In response to: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

SnowieSenior Contributor20 Apr 2020, 5:31 pm AEST

Re: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

Hi @bear7

I don't think you need a reason to swap psychologists. If they don't feel right for you then that is reason enough. Remember they are employed to do a job. If you don't like their appraoch then you have every right to want to see someone else. I have recently changed psychologist and even though it was hard to start again I know it will be the best thing for me in the long run.

Good luck with it all and I hope you can find someone that is a good match for you.

In response to: Re: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

bear7Casual Contributor20 Apr 2020, 5:52 pm AEST

Re: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

Thanks very much for that Snowie, I was with the public psych system for too long, putting up with pot luck if you got a good or bad treating cliniciian there was only one way to chaange if they said no you can't change, was to leave the service. Hope things go well for you too.

In response to: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

chibamSenior Contributor20 Apr 2020, 8:09 pm AEST

Re: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

@bear7I have personal experiance with both useless and harmful therapists.

If you've been seeing your therapist for well beyond a reasonable evaluation period (I'd say a year most definitely qualifies!) and they still haven't helped you in any meaningful way; if you get the distinct impression that your treatment is more about the therapist then about you - then I would say it is most definitely time to think about getting out.

If you have someone you can trust who you can reach out to to help you get out of that situation, then I say go for it! I hope things ultimately work out well for you!

One other tip that may or may not be of use to you, if you need extra help getting out of therapy: try to figure out what your therapist wants you to do/wants your life to be, then do your best to convince her that that outcome has been accomplished. This was the trick to me getting out of my own therapy nightmare, which I wish I'd cottoned on to early in the game.

I found that at least some therapists will try to paint you a picture of the life that they want you to have, and the trick to getting out of therapy is to convince them that they've successfully made that picture a reality and that you've therefore been "cured".

In response to: Re: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

AppleblossomSenior Contributor20 Apr 2020, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: Is it enough of a reason to leave a psychologist that they tell you their life story but don't offer help or advice or techniques to stop problems

It sounds like you have done the hard yards a few times. @bear7

The client has choice and control in NDIS. Often we may not feel we can or should make the decision, but use it as an experience to trust your instinct and try someone new. There are many therpaists who have less self awareness than they ought.

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