Spat the dummy big time

I’m sorry to hear how you’re feeling today @Chris. I think looking after our mental health can sometimes feel like we are just pouring out words and emotions and nothing is changing, which can feel like a big waste of time. But then there are times when, unexpectedly, the hard work pays off either in a big or a small way and we remember why we keep trying.

I think it can be a bit like growing a garden over winter. It seems like nothing is happening, despite all our watering and weeding. Then suddenly there’s a bit of sunshine and things begin to thrive. Perhaps that light is just round the corner for you. I hope you can find some energy to keep persevering, despite the tiredness.

It looks like you have detected a pattern with this happening every few months. How have things gone in the past when these feelings have come up?

know how you feel @Chris have been spitting the dummy to varying degrees for a long time and then I feel better because I know something is not right and I either can't put it into words or just can't see it. I think it shows strength spitting the dummy sometimes as long as I don't hurt myself or others. then I come to the conclusion that my doctors are doing their best they can to help me and then I try to get more involved by asking them directly what they want me to do to help myself. keep fighting it is worth it

Hope you are better now @ChrisMaybe every now and then we need to have a good solid cry.

I dont cry as often in the last 7 years. It has slowed down to a few times per year when something triggers me. If I have time available I just let my tears and distress run their full course. I do feel better after it. It doesnt hurt others to have a cry type of spit the dummy ... and somehow keeps us in touch with a whole range of feelings.

Words are part of the problem, may be part of the cure, but there is definitely a huge part of us that is pre or non verbal.

I am not sure what your hospital options are, but take care and respect your feelings.

I was in hospital in December last year for a medication change. It was ok. My psychiatrist told me i have to stop being so stoic. It feel like failure to be in hospital. And attention seeking.. i dont feel they can do anything for me, because its all in my head. I start to become aware of something new and its painful, overwhelming, crushing.i know i have to face it, put i seem to panic over it, and pull away from the very people who can help me. This has hapened many times. It turns self destructive. Its extremely painful.

I feel dambed if i do and dambed if i dont, and all the time trying not to let this show through.

So i dont know where to go from here.

@Chris know where you are at moment we want to hold in our emotions in, I know for me I do because they are so strong and overwhelming, some pass some do not I know some people who write it down and it helps some, but lately I have been holding it all in tried writing it down but I ended up throwing the book across the room(ha Ha) so I am trying meditation with some success and trying to focus on feeling better work in progress because the world just keeps going and I feel left out and a loser. but I've been here before and I know how painful it is but something inside me says I'm going to beat this bastard ( sorry about the swearing and I hope you are not offended)