SZA delusion questions

Hi @Reggie,

Knowing when you cross the fine between delusional and psychosis is tricky. I think the main difference with delusions and psychosis is delusions involve disorted thinking and beliefs, whereas psychosis involves experiencing sensory stimuli that isn't really there. You can read more about it here. Though, the difficulty and challenge is when you're unwell and experiencing psychosis or delusions is knowing that you are experiencing them.

Delusions and psychosis can vary from person to person. Usually, there are warning signs. It can help to work with your support network (friends and family) and health professionals to determine any signs that you are becoming unwell. @kenny66 has written here, in a Topic Tuesday discussion on psychosis about how his housemates look out for him and warning signs.

I wonder if @Snuchu or @Sehnsucht can offer some advice? They have both been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and have written about it here

BTW, Welcome to the SANE Forums! If you're around at the moment, come and join us at the Friday Feast. It's an online event, where we hang out and socialise, and eat a virtual feast together.

Hope to see you around!

CherryBomb

@Reggie,

My understanding (and experience) is that psychosis needn't involve hallucinations/percieved but non-existant sensory stimuli.
The line is crossed when reality is lost. Where the delusion impacts so greatly that you begin behaving in ways that reality doesn't allow for. In ways that logic can't answer to, that pays no respect to indisputable laws of physics (such as up suddenly equating to down, or that you don't need to eat). Or that you simply feel other-worldly, or disassosciated to the point that reality isn't your place of residence anymore- a kind of opposite of experiencing strange stimulus, you are the strange stimulus.

How would I know? I wouldn't. This is my greatest fear, and to my frustration, something the mental health system can't answer to for me at the moment. When I was so deluded I was psychotic, I was the only 'right' person and the only person I knew that was going to achieve the enlightened/heightened spiritual place in the world free from physical influences/existence. I didn't think me wrong or ill. I thought everyone else to be.

I suppose looking back it didn't all happen overnight, and maybe there were times where I stepped over a threshold, but how would I change that? It all built from a place of logic initially, and snowballed step by step. At each step I had the step beneath me leading that still backtracked to logic, so this all had to be logic, right?

So for me, I feel only safe if I could ever have those close to me, working through me on my logical processes when I am getting overwhelmed/emotional, or carried away quickly with a task.

I find it so hard to ask this of people. I get quickly shut down and told not to be so fragile or silly. Or told I never suffered psychosis, and instead have a personality disorder (of which he never shared the name of, did i have to ask??) after half hour psychiatrist appts (this happened Monday). Never mind the psychiatrist I last saw years ago, that diagnosed me, did so relatively shortly after my episode and after a course of at least 4 1hr appts. That involved talking about my thoughts and feelings, not about how I am one half mum and one half dad (obviously??). Turning to a professional and coming away feeling their thought process is deluded, not helpful.


I suppose, I often look to those around me, and to how much they are engaging in or following my conversations or spills of emotion. When they're disengaging or getting annoyed then I kind of actively try to hold back the reactionary paranoia and step back and critique. Like, check boxes in my head pro and con them being a conspiracy or am I being weird. Let myself feel upset and hurt, but why am I? Because they are making fun of me, or because my experience isn't quite how they saw it?

That is some of it too. Things, memories, experiences that pop into my head that simply aren't true, but they've popped in there, so are they? So rather than real-time hallucinations, it can be past-tense. Like too much inside your own head that imagination becomes reality.

And maybe I am wrong and all this is not psychosis or even delusions. Really not the best person to ask given the wtf experience that was Monday's appt. Wondering if I'm stuck playing virtual reality games as we speak! But that feels the less real answer right now so I'm not stepping up a rung on that one and instead stepping up a stair on the stairwell of psychiatrist's are cult leading victim blamers instead. I refuse to step further with 'trust it, it was therapeutic or useful in ways you don't understand' stairwell though I imagine that is what I will get told as someone who has 'schizoaffective' written beside their name in past medical history.

I am not helpful. Sorry. I relate hard to your question though.

*How would I know if I've gone from delusion to psychosis

Is how it should read. I can't find editing on my phone

Hi @Sehnsucht

building on what Cherrybomb said about using your support networks to help you identify warning signs, I have heard of people making "wellness books". where you compile evidence of when you were unwell at different levels, for example the person I knew had a delusion that related to religion so in her book she had a photo of a cross as when she started talking about religion she was becoming unwell and later in the book pamphlets from churches she had been to (this was a very strong athiest at all other times and people including professionals had diffciulty challenging her on her beliefs even though they were signs of her being unwell) so by creating this book (with lots of other things in it) it was a tangible reminder for her of what was real and what was not and provided a way for her supports to speak to her

just an idea!

take care