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Hello Aqua 53 here

Aqua53Casual Contributor17 Mar 2020, 10:51 am AEDT

Hello Aqua 53 here

Hi pretty new to this group. I am classed as elderly with an adult daughter (in her 40s) who has bpd. We live together and have done for most of her life. Finding it difficult to communicate with her about the current situation in Australia, as she is not receptive to being vigilant. It has happened so fast, and it is too much for her to take in. Difficult to talk to due to panic and anxiety disorder and tendency to throw it back on me as if I am panicking instead of being careful. Very exhausting living with someone with this disorder

6 replies

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In response to: Hello Aqua 53 here

BunniekinsSenior Contributor17 Mar 2020, 2:38 pm AEDT

Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

@Aqua53 Hi Aqua53 and welcome to the forums. You will find we are a friendly bunch with different backgrounds as carers and also mental illness suffers (I am both). Have a look around the various threads for example Good Morning! thread and some of the other social threads . I hope to see you around the forums.

Oh btw if you want to talk to someone specifically put a @infront of their name like I did for you then they will get a notifcation of your post. Talk soon. greenpeax:)

In response to: Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

Aqua53Casual Contributor17 Mar 2020, 3:41 pm AEDT

Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

Thanks for the tips greenpeax

In response to: Hello Aqua 53 here

Unknown userMember17 Mar 2020, 3:43 pm AEDT

Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

Hey there @Aqua53 that does sound super hard. I think it's important you have your own support network (this forum is a good place to start ). In terms of the difficulty talking with her, what's an example of how this might play out? Where does she tend to get distressed with it? We are here to listen and happy to help.

In response to: Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

Shaz51Senior Contributor17 Mar 2020, 6:51 pm AEDT

Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

hello @Aqua53

@FindingStrength, @Determined

In response to: Hello Aqua 53 here

Meg1Senior Contributor21 Mar 2020, 7:35 pm AEDT

Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

@Aqua53 Hi there Aqua53. In reading your post, I was reminded of the way I used to feel living with my son, who deals with schizoaffective disorder.

About 10 years ago he was encouraged by his doctor to stop living with me and move into a group living situation, due to concerns of aggression towards me at the time. Things calmed down and my son asked to return some six months later - I welcomed him with open arms.

But ultimately, things continued to be difficult and a few years later, he moved into his own apartment and is still there...and to be honest, it is the best thing that could have happened for both of us. We see each other often and I continue to provide support; but I am no longer exhausted by the day to day contact. He has privacy and support from various sources - and while I feel that no-one will care about him the way his own mother cares...I simply cannot do it all. I have found that letting go and loving from a distance is far more effective for both of us. I also believe that my son has learned to be a little more independent, which will be helpful for him when I am no longer here. I hope this helps you. Meg

In response to: Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

Shaz51Senior Contributor25 Mar 2020, 3:21 pm AEDT

Re: Hello Aqua 53 here

Hello @Meg1 , @Aqua53 , @Former-Member

It is hard letting our children go to live independently

My 4 step children all have different degrees of MI like their father, my Mr shaz

I text and we ring from time to time and letting them know that we are here for them and we have helped them too

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