My story-how can i change my mindset?

Hello! i am a new member here! and i feel like i need to get this all out and hopefully someone out there has some trips or someone else has gone through it.

I am 25 years old and happily married, living out of home with my cat and dog. I am a childcare educator and recently have been struggling with life in general.

I have always been quite a happy and positive person and i believe i have lived with anxiety even from a young age. When i was 16 my dad passed away from cancer and i felt i dealt with that well, i saw a counsellor and had great support. Throughout high school, i was always very shy and never had much confidence growing up. When i was old enough to drink and what not, i went overseas with a few friends from high school and lost my virginity for the first time, and ended up sleeping with a few people in the holiday time, not really knowing what i was doing or how much it was affecting me. I was also raped in this same time frame by an older man who was travelling with his wife and daughter. he also attempted to speak to me when i got back. again i sought out counselling for it and i think it helped with the short term stuff, but clearly not everything is solved. i almost feel like i am ashamed of sex in any way shape or form and i live with such crippling anxiety everyday. just recently i have gone through a really big depression, to the point where i wanted to be sitting in a room in the dark on my own, feeling overwhelmed and just angry at myself for feeling it. i am wondering if anyone has any tips or tricks or has anyone gone through something life this. i feel that my sex life and even my own self confidence is suffering and i am becoming more depressed and upset about it. HELP?!?!?!