Separating from a wife who displays cluster b personality behaviour

@wombats Hi wombats :). My story is a bit similar but from the spouse's point of view with the mental illness.If you still love your wife I would imho stay supporting her not fighting her. She needs help. My ex left me for another woman when I was severely mentally ill and it took me ages to recover ..... now that he understands what was going on in my life at that time he says he feels nothing but guilt for leaving me. My children were in their teens during that period and it was hell for everyone concerned.

By supporting the mother of your children doesnt mean that you are a door mat for her behaviour it just means that when she comes crumbling down (which she will) she will have a soft place to fall. Take care of yourself too. Make sure that your needs are being looked after during this process which will take time to sort out are being met.

Fyi if you want to talk to anyone directly put a @ in front of their name like I did for you. It will send a notification to them of your post. Take care wombat. Love greenpea

Thanks for getting back @Bunniekins , I appreciate it

My wife has abused me too much for me to love her anymore. I don't believe she has the ability to gain the self insight necessary for her to function as a healthy human being.

My main concern at the moment is about the kids (7 and 3.5), and the lack of emotional, mental, and physical development and support they will get in her pseudo care. When they are with her, their diets are very sub standard. The youngest had popcorn for lunch three or four days in a row when I was at work toward the end of last year. On these days I would return from a roughly six hour work day and my eldest would say that they had watched three movies while I was away. I had regular arguments with my wife because I didn't want the kids to put a movie on first thing when they woke up. She doesn't provide them with many dinners other than either packet ravioli with parmesan cheese (nothing else) or cheese pizza. She doesn't do anything with the kids, she will get angry at them when they are bored of watching TV because she is busy internet shopping. This is also when our finances were strained and she was selling household contents (including the kids toys), and telling the kids that she had to do it because there was no money, not demonstrating that when there is no money, you don't buy unnecessary things.

Sorry for the rant, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

NPD has very good Face Book sites.

@wombats

From a kids point of view, who lost her dad. Manage your drink. Stand by your rights and their rights to have a father. The world needs decent men Big Time.

It is the kind of female that makes me ashamed of my gender. She obviously has problems and should be seeking help also.

You can still have some good input in those reduced hours. As time passes you will be able to take them on weekends and holidays. Believe in it.

Thanks for your thoughts @Appleblossom

I have been managing/monitoring the drink.

I make the most out of the 7 hours each week I spend with with the boys. I've been asking my ex for more time, but she will not agree, not even an hour extra.

@wombats

Just dont lose hope and reasons to go on.

I have very restricted access to my grandson 2 1/2 hours in 10 months. Some young women are very controlling. I am not fighting, but it is not in the children's best interests. My main vice is ice cream!

I can't imagine how hard that must be @Appleblossom . It was similar here, after a fairly petty dispute between my wife and my father and his wife I ended up losing contact with my father for about 5 years, unfortunately I belived my wife. He didn't see my eldest over that time, and only met my youngest when he was 2 1/2. My mother would come and visit us until things got very tense in 2018 and then she started getting isolated from us by my wife as well. She had basically no contact with my boys for about a year and a half.

Its amazing that people can justify treating others this way to themselves and others, and that people like me can be blindfolded into accepting it

Hearing you about being blindfolded. @wombats

It is sad that so many families are fragmented and suffer. LIfe is complicated and messy.

It is a mad mad world out there.

My grandson is fairly safe atm and I am backing my son, as he needs to lead with regards to his son. If that does not seem to complicated to follow. My nurturing is flowing well and I find ways to live with it all. The sad thing is that the children so miss out. In these C virus days there are restrictions, I am hoping to suggest more zoom soon ...

Just hang in there and build best life possible for you ... that flows on.