new here, not doing good

Hi @Tarah,

Welcome to the forum. It's good to hear you now feel satisfied with your diagnosis and that the latest addition of Borderline Personality Disorder seems to make fuller sense of your experiences. From reading others on the forum describing their experience of BPD, I know it can be a hard road to travel.

Sorry to hear you are not doing well at the moment and that there is no family or close friend to support you at this time. It sounds like you see your psych regularly, which is at least one form of support. I'm guessing you mean a psychiatrist, rather than a psychologist, since you mention medications. I wonder why you were going to be withdrawing from meds. I understand how difficult that might be, especially when you are doing it tough.

You have come to a good place with this forum, to add to your support resources. There are a number of active members with BPD. @Crazy_Bug_Lady and @BlueBay come immediately to mind as members who may relate to your situation in different ways. My diagnosis is bipolar, which has some similarities with BPD, especially instability of moods.

Hope to hear more from you as you feel like sharing more detail. Kind wishes.

Hi @Tarah

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read that you are suffering from your mental illness. I, too have been diagnosed with BPD, GAD, post childhood sexual abuse, depression. I am currently working with my psychiatrist and therapist on ways to help and skills for BPD.

It's good though that you are seeing your psych. It is hard when you have no other support but I can assure you that being on here - you will have lots of support.

Hope to chat again. take care

Hi @Tarah,

Just to add to @Crazy_Bug_Lady's invitation to the Night Shift and Friday Feast, you can find them if you click on the links here:

Night Shift: http://saneforums.org/t5/Enjoying-time-with-others/Night-Shift/td-p/34198

Friday Feast: http://saneforums.org/t5/Enjoying-time-with-others/The-Weekly-Friday-Feast/m-p/23308

Hope to see more of you. 🙂

They told me in the same session, the second time I'd ever seen them, that I had BPD and they wanted to try new meds, so to come off the ones I'd been on for over ten years. Gave me two weeks to come off it. I tried, but it's too hard right now. The physical side effects were the worst part, but mentally it was bad too. I only trust one of them tho, he seemed to really get me, she didn't, but I think i'll be seeing her next so hopefully it goes ok. Twice now she's said she would do things for me and hasnt, first was not making me another appointment after my first session, I waited for a letter in the mail like they said id get, but got nothing, then had to call back and make an appointment myself. Then last session she was meant to send a report to centerlink for me and didnt so now ive lost my pension and have to appeal it. I told her how important it was that they get it and she said she would send it, I left her the letter I got from centerlink with details on it and she said it would be fine. Then yesterday i got a call saying they got nothing and time had run out for me to get it to them. How do I trust her to help me when things like this happen? Stuff happened yesterday morning before I got the phone call, stuff that was a huge ptsd trigger for me so having that call just after it didnt help. I dont want to be like this, but its hard to keep positive when everything seems to be going wrong. My anxiety is so bad now that going to check my mail today was a big deal for me.And yeah psychiatrists, I have had really bad experiences before with GP's and psychologists trying to diagnose me and stuff my meds around, I know I need proper help from someone who knows what they're doing. But like I said before, im finding it hard to trust her to help me. Oh and it also doesnt help that my notes are written on a manilla folder, not even a piece of paper, just scribbled on a folder, that really doesnt make me feel like she cares. im not important enough for a writing pad? the other one had proper paper and stuff, he was organised. ive only seen them twice so far.

@Tarah,

I'm wondering why you are seeing two different psychiatrists. The female psychiatrist you are seeing seems terribly unhelpful and you are clearly not happy with her. Is it possible to ask to see only the male psychiatrist you trust? I'm guessing this may not be possible if you are being treated through a public hospital outpatients program. But there may be other options to that.

Is there any reason, for example, why you can't see a psychiatrist of your choice privately? A lot of psychiatrists charge a hefty gap fee for private sessions but there are psychiatrists who bulk bill even in private practice. I have found bulk billing psychiatrists by doing Google searches and ring arounds to ask about bulk billing of pensioners. Then I've taken pot luck and just tried them out by going to my GP and asking to be referred to that particular psychiatrist. I've never had a GP have a problem with this. This may depend on whether you are in a city or country area and the number of psychiatrists available.

I have read on the forum that other people in difficulties with pensions can ask to see a Centrelink social worker, who may be helpful in your circumstances. I understand how stressful it would be to have your pension cut off. I too have been through long phases in my life where I too couldn't get myself to the letterbox to check the mail (still am like that some days).

Some of what I'm writing here is based on guesses about the specifics of your treatment. These are just a few ideas for you to consider.

Hi @Tarah

I hope you get lots of support from the forum. It is only online but has been very helpful in many ways. I have been able to express myself and talk about my issues without rejection, I have met lots of wonderful open honest people who can relate to me in different ways. I have learned about services that are appropriate to my situation and also been able to be a bit more clear on effective ways of dealing with the professionals.

Go gently with yourself

regards Apple