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I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

LostmyselfCasual Contributor25 Jan 2020, 5:51 pm AEDT

I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

I work as a nurse and am nearly 24 yrs married mum of 4.

I got hurt by a patient my back was extremely painful till they killed the nerves. Since injury I had an ulcer that had me having an endoscope where I ended up with stomach acid in my lung I then coded and died was revived. Then ended up house bound with a crazy lung infection then finally got pain sorted with nerve block and had seizures from pain medication. Now I can't drive for 6 months.

I'm back at work on light duties and short hours but it's making my depression worse.

I've been told I'm not to teach new nurse stuff when I'm the person who trains everyone.

My family say how proud of me they are that I keep going trying to get better with my back. Yet all I want to do is drop this baggage and tell someone else take it for a while. I want to sleep but at night I toss and turn. Finding positives daily as per psychologist isn't working the medication I'm on doesn't feel like it's working anymore.

I don't know where I'm at or how to dig myself out of the rubble. I want to but I don't have the strength I used to be known for or am expected to have.

7 replies

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In response to: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Jan 2020, 9:11 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

hi @Lostmyself and welcome
you've been through so much! you've shown great strength in reaching out for support and sharing your story here.

If you feel like your medication isn't working, I would suggest speaking to a psychiatrist and seeing if they could help you. do you think youd be up for this?

its so tough to try and manage our mental health when our physical health is poor as well. is there something you like to do such as a hobby you could focus on abit while your recovering?

please feel free to have a look around and also join in where you like as well. a forum tip is to put an @ before a members name and itll also tag them for you

hope this helps abit

maybe @Sans911 @utopia @Teej @eth @frog @oceangirl maybe you could offer some advice?

In response to: Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

LostmyselfCasual Contributor25 Jan 2020, 9:21 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

@outlander

I think the two things you brought up are very valid and have been discussed.

I enjoy horse riding, boxing, kayaking, camping, hiking etc all I am unable to do. I'm trying to focus on other things but then driving was taken away it isolates me.

The gp and psychologist said medication is fine I need to be lifting my mood more actively which is hard when I feel like I'm being dumped on every time I turn around.

I have been walking short walks and am using music to help busy the head. Trying to play games on my phone or reading but I find it won't last long before I lose interest.

I'm trying really hard to be a good example as my youngest child is 14 yr old girl and honestly if it wasn't for her and the dogs needing me to get out of bed and try I wouldn't.

In response to: Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Jan 2020, 9:39 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

we share many interests besides our closeness in age although I don't ride much now I do have horses, love boxing, and im abit more of a 'glamper' as long as theres showers and toilets im alright lol.

its tough not being able to do the things we want to do @Lostmyself sometimes my physical ailments prevent me from doing some things I like to do to. 2 years ago I badly damaged my hand and severed a nerve, I was so limited in doing everything and with my work it often takes long enough with 2 hands let alone struggling with one. 2 yrs on I still have troubles with it but no where near as bad, it just felt so frustratingly slow when healing! I couldn't even put up my hair!
hopefully with physio and rest your back will heal more and youll be able to do all those things again. baby steps.
I wonder if theres something youd like to try that would keep your mind occupied but allow you to rest? maybe crochet or knitting? scrapbooking? photography-you could do this on your short walks? further studies? this way your mind is active but not putting any extra pressure on your body.

In response to: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

BunniekinsSenior Contributor26 Jan 2020, 3:03 am AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

@Lostmyself Good morning Lostmyself and welcome to the forum :). I think @outlander has basically covered everything just wanted to say hi and say that we are a friendly bunch of formites which consist of mi suffers, carers and siblings etc. Feel free to move around the forum and post when you are ready :). You might like to start with the Good Morning! thread which basically goes on all day 24/7. I hope to see you around. Take care greenpeax

In response to: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

LostandaloneSenior Contributor26 Jan 2020, 6:58 am AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

@Lostmyself ... let me start by giving you a big hug

I can so so sooooo relate to what you are going thru.... but I won't hijaxk your moment to go into detail ...

I too have lost the strength to fight it... but we need to be strong... we need to soldier on... as everyone keeps telling me... this is just a small hiccup... it will get better

In response to: Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

outlanderSenior Contributor26 Jan 2020, 9:49 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

Hi @Lostandalone id also like to welcome you to the forum 💕

In response to: Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

LostandaloneSenior Contributor26 Jan 2020, 10:16 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what rock bottom looks like but I'm afraid it's not far off

Thank you @outlander

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