Seeking help for su.

Hi, I feel like I am heading for a nervous breakdown. I'm holding it all in and together till the house is sold. I've told my therapist that one appointment a week is not enough, though I understand the situation that she is unable to help more. So, she suggested that I contact a mental health service that deals with suicidal people. I did...I had used them before. So I called the counsellor I saw before, think about this, your job is to see suicidal patients, but all she wanted to talk about was how things were with my abusive nephew. She suggested that I get a referral to see her, but I don't want to. I'm still not handling things and need extra support, so I went to uni to see one of the counsellors. Her advice was to just hang on and wait for it to pass. It upsets me that I tell people that I am not coping and I am frightened of what I might do and no one actually gets it. It's not just them, it's me too, I don't want to go to hospital, I don't want anyone in my family to know, etc, so I don't give them any options but to hope for the best. There's nothing anyone can really do anyway, I am kind of over it really, life, struggling, trying, etc., more than anything I just want to go to sleep and not wake up, I'm soooo tired.