Abuse

Hi @Lemonjuice

It is a terrible account you give of the abuse and disrespect you suffered today. Your love for your family member shines through. I really hope you do not let it get you too down between now and the time you can get away, Are you able to keep yourself safe this evening? Please feel free to reach out for support if you are thinking or hurting yourself.

take care

Whitehawk

@Former-Member I am trying to stay calm. Going to wash the dog and go to bed. It's hard, I want to suicide, I want to runaway, I want hurt myself, but I am holding on, trying to remind myself of all the reasons I need to be ok. Sometimes it works, sometimes it gets bad and I end up hurting myself. I have things to do, no suicide, no hospital.😖

I'm sorry reading how your nephew treats you @Lemonjuice its so disrespectful.
how old is he? Can you put some boundaries down with reg to his behaviour towards you. That's verbal abuse.
I can see you love him and once the house is sold you won't need to see him.
Pls stay safe. You are a very worthy person.
thinking of you. Hope your dog had a good wash.

@BlueBay thanks. He's 19, but there's always been an issue with him controlling his anger. In the last six years or so, it's gotten worse. I went from having a young child, cheeky, cute, playful, but easily upset, to a gaslighting, narcissistic, explosive young adult. It doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters, just want to get out of here.

My puppy had a great bath, he doesn't much like them, but he ain't staying in my room without one, 'stinky' doesn't really express it!

Gee that's tough @Lemonjuice

he should know better

to treat you with respect

it's very hard

but you care for yourself first

your health is very important

❤️❤️

@BlueBay I will try. Thanks.

Hi @Lemonjuice

No wonder you are feeling so stressed - I only got a glimsp of this in your other post - and you don't have to put up with abuse like that - wow - your nephew is lucky you picked him up in the afternoon after the way he treated you in the morning

I don't know if I have mentioned to you that I had a son who couldn't take responsibility for himself either and of course I loved him but I had to practise tough-love with him - I know how this feels - we are not responsible for what other people don't tell us even if we love them and we want to help them - that's really hard for you

I'm glad the house will be sold and you don't have to see him again - you love him but you certainly dont like his behaviour - this is actually where tough-love starts

I hope you can feel safe and that you have things to do rather than suicide - this time will pass and hopefully life will be better once the house is sold

Dec

@Owlunar thanks. To be honest, I should be in hospital, resting and being taken care of and kept safe, but that would happen in a perfect world...this isn't a perfect world. I keep myself going with the thought that in two months, I will be free and that this is the last time that I will be sorting out my parents' hoarded crap. I loved them dearly, but they just kept collecting things over the years, just incase they could use it and then refused to get rid of anything cause they might need it. I've been sorting, fixing and saving everyone in my family since I was six. I'm done. This will be my parting gift to them, to sort out all their things, give them closure. Then I will sort out my stuff.

I Hope everything is going okay there just sending support your way!

Sylvester

SANE Moderator

Hi @Lemonjuice

Yes - it would be so much easier for you to be cared through when you are feeling so fragile but you are right - this isn't a perfect world - it is so tough for you and you have done so much for your family - you will be glad when all the sorting out is done

I really don't understand hoarding - my ex-h was a hoarder and I wouldn't let him keep his stuff in the house except for his bedroom - he built a large brick garage on our property and filled it with the stuff he had hoarded at his mother and I left all that junk when I left the house when it was sold - he left a lot of junk in our roof and I am wondering to this day what happened to that but it's not my problem

How wonderful it is to be able to walk away from someone else's junk - I hope you can eventually do this with your parents' stuff - I personally don't understand why people hoard crap like that but they do - and I suppose it does end up being someone else's problem eventually -

So - if you are in control of selling the house I guess you have to dump the trash - just in case there is something important in there you need to sort through it I guess - which is horrible -

I care about you having to do all of this and I get it that you are done - having done it since you were six - what would have happened had you not done all of this?

I wouldn't tolerate my mother's nastiness and years passed and sometimes I could attend family events and sometimes I couldn't and sometimes I wouldn't and I was pushed to the outside but I liked that better and got on with my life - and here I am today - free of it. My sister was my mother's favourite and she was the one left to empty a house full of ornaments - I have no idea how many but my daughter had helped and her eyes rolled when she mentioned all the ornaments

Personally I think the hoarded crap is only the evidence of a deeper collection of grudges - grudges - bad feelings - lost Christmases - grudges - etc and more grudges - I think it was a mammoth task you had caring for everyone for all those years and I wish you the best with a new life without all of this

It's not easy - I know that much - the other side of that coin is being ostracised - we all have a choice I suppose but it's never an easy sitation - I feel for you

Dec