RaffiCasual Contributor
Bipolar 2 New Diagnosis-desperate dissociation and paranoia
Hi all
i am new here. With a recent diagnosis of BP2 and anxiety/depression etc etc.... Got educated and have a stable job, partner,home but inside I feel homeless. A lifetime of cover up has exhausted me ( I never knew that it was not normal and that other people don't feel this tangled). Seen many GO's about depression until I finally said I want a psychiatric referral. Diagnosis then confirmed with an exploration of symptoms. Told one person about the diagnosis - that backfired spectacularly.
I really regret it as it made me feel one hundred times worse.
Feel very alone and belong nowhere.
Need some support and kinship with open honest conversations about feelings and lived experience. Feel very abandoned, misunderstood and totally isolated despite close immediate family. Family of origin fracture, abusive and totally dysfunctional. Very bad childhood which I am certain contributes to my disassociation and paranoia. Always thought I had a wild imagination. Turns out I cycle between extreme internal mania (wild vivid thoughts and ideas) and depression associated with paranoia and self hatred. I try desperately to manage myself and my environment which always turns out badly largely due to being misunderstood and interpreted.
Where do I go? I want deeper connection and discussion - not just talk to GP, psych, counseller etc. I want to talk to others who know how deeply awful this can feel. Where can I find them? How do I find them?
Help.
