hey @seagul I'm experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions too at the moment. I feel very vulnerable & fragile psychologically. On top of that I'm nursing an injury & physical pain, desperately trying to heal well enough so I can go back to work as soon as possible.
It sounds like your support system (your wife) is gone at the moment & you're struggling with being alone. I live alone with my buddy, the cat. So I'm used to managing my mental health on my own...but I can understand that it would be a shock to the system for you if you're used to having company at home...and probably your mh symptoms are spiking.
Even though you don't feel like it,I'd suggest getting out into the social world & having contact with other humans, even if it's just for a few minutes like buying milk at the supermarket. Just try to make eye contact with a few people & if you can manage, smile. It'll make you feel better especailly when someone returns your smile.
I'd also suggest getting some exercise, even though you don't feel like it. As high intensity as possible but just a walk around the block if it's all you can manage. It's good to get the blood moving & your heart rate up for a bit - no matter how psychotic, hopeless & unwell I am, I always look after the physical body even though I hate the exercise at the time & feel like doing anything but exercise. I just force myself to exercise and after I'm relieved that I've done something for my physical health, even though my mental health won't budge & my symptoms are thru the roof.
Hang in there 
