anyone going on holidays over the next couple of months?

I have sort of experienced it.

Scenario 1:

I don't have agoraphobia, but I have social anxiety. When I visited a country where the primary language wasn't English, I had a hard time going to places that required me to try and speak (and inevitably have to tell them that I can't speak their language the moment it went beyond "hello please thank you"). Unless I had strictly planned something and scheduled it, I would spend my time in the hotel stressing out about how I'd probably have to talk to someone so I wasted days of my trip trying to get up the courage to go out. Skipped meals because I couldn't bring myself to face the interaction of buying food.

Despite the issues and regret about not making the most of it, I'm still pleased that I went and proud of myself for the things I did manage to do. I was hugely stressed out a lot of the time but it ended up being heaps worth it in the long run. And I got a bunch of stories out of it by reframing the problems as funny misadventures which is something that comes naturally to me.

Scenario 2:

Over xmas/NYE I always visit my family who live interstate. I typically regret the way I spend my time over these holidays and regret choosing to spend that long with my family when we inevitably start to rub each other the wrong way. This year I have a plan on how I'm going to spend the time there in a way that feels good to me, so hopefully I've learned from the mistakes of the past (I'm a bit thick so it took me over 5 years). It will mean doing more things out of my comfort zone but that's how we grow so I'm nervous but pretty hopeful about it.

@jamesle2015 @TheVorticon Hey guys I have one but it is so long it will take me pages to discuss and to be honest I am trying to forget it after 30 years it is still fresh in my memory :o! Let us say that everything that could go wrong did and a warning that came out of it for me that if a holiday starts really bad it is a warning to go back home prompto!

@MDT where did you go? 🙂 how many people were in your group - was it with with relatives or friends ?

@TheVorticon was it an Asian country or European? 🙂

How many were in your group - did you join a tour or did you go with friends or relatives?

I am agoraphobic so when I went overseas - a couple of times - in the past 10 years I was with

other people. I remember when I went to an Asian country on a tour and I threw up in the back of

the car - there was a paper bag there so that was fortunate. The other time I went overseas

was ok it was to visit relatives. The problem with holidays for me is I always get 'dragged along' by other people - I never plan to go anywhere myself. When you follow other people you know what happens - if they know about you they start talking about your 'problems' in front of you not even caring you are sitting there and can hear everything. In my case following 'older' people - I know it's not good

but I had no choice if I didn't follow I wouldn't go anywhere I'd be stuck at home.

@TheVorticonwhen I was talking about other 'people' talking about my 'problems' I was thinking about holidays over the past couple of years where I got 'dragged along' - so I was 'trapped' - when you travel with other people there's no escape you see them everyday. It happened recently - I had a short holiday and then I had to endure a 'lecturing' session - sitting around and having to listen to 'older' people discuss

your 'future' blah blah blah and because they know something about you they start to go on and on

they talk about 'work' and try to imagine what my future will be like

it's not my fault I am agoraphobic and I am single at this stage of my life - i'm sure a lot of people are I'm not the only one

But it is not for them to judge - they don't hold the future

The last overseas holiday we went on. I was diagnosed. I got diagnosed two years ago. The frist day we got there. I was a nightmare. I walked ahead of hubby and kids. I didn't want to on the heights excusion that was planned. So I didn't go. We thought it was just PMS. Nope, turns out I am bipolar type 2. We are going away in Jan 2020. We shall see how that goes. I keep things quite routined at home.

heights excursion...sounds scary

what was it?

It was only going up a buiding with a glass floor. A trouristy thing. I was not in the mood.

Must have been many levels up...