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Something’s not right

I don’t know what to do with myself

eastwestroadNew Contributor

I don’t know what to do with myself

I don’t know what to do with myself!

Hi out there, This is my first time on a forum and I’m a bit unsure how to describe what I’m feeling, but here goes... I live in a semi rural area... I have diagnosed Bipolar, GAD and SAD... I’m on quite high doses of medication and I’ve been mostly stabilised over the last 18 months. The medication has totally changed my eating, drinking and sleeping routines. I used to cook and enjoy a glass of wine with dinner... now I rarely drink, have a shake for dinner and I self isolate and am always in bed. I have trouble with planning things like grocery shopping and cooking because I’m not hungry and I don’t find food enjoyable anymore so my family have taken over those tasks. I don’t know if other people have this but I don’t know what to do with myself at home... i sort of feel lost within this space. I was unable to work for many years and have just started back casually so I have a lot of time at home... I wander around and I tidy up but I just don’t know what to do with myself or I don’t know where to sit so I go back to my bedroom which has always been my safety zone. I love my bedroom and I’m always in it but then I feel guilty... that this isn’t right and I should be out in the house with my family. I worry about what they think of me always being in bed or asleep. I feel like there’s something wrong with me and that no one else I know lives their life like I do. I don’t reach out and I don’t share this information with my friends because I know they wouldn’t understand and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. I find it hard to live in the rest of the house... even when no one’s at home. When my family are at home, I don’t cope with the noise and activity, I don’t like to watch what they watch, I’m not hungry so I don’t eat with them... and I retreat to my room. I’m up in the morning and make lunches and clean up the house... I make my bed and have a shower... but then find I’m back in my bedroom... I watch stuff and read and watch more stuff. I have obsessions with things and I get totally absorbed... like researching different subjects like JFK, tsunamis, Titanic etc, or buying things online or constantly going over things like bush fire evacuation plan... these obsessions are constant until they run their course and then I go onto something else. I don’t have any hobbies because I don’t know what I want to do or where to do it. I’m not sure if this is making sense to anyone... I would appreciate any thoughts and advice. Thank you so much.

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In response to: I don’t know what to do with myself

Unknown userMember

Re: I don’t know what to do with myself

Hey there @eastwestroad thank you so much for posting and reaching out to the community. We are a really non-judgemental and supportive space & I really hope it helps in some way to know you're not alone with some of the experiences you're having at the moment. Firstly, props on getting back to work even casually as you'd be surprised how impactful and helpful the routine from employment can have in terms of reconditioning some of the symptoms relating to our mental health. Also totally hear you on the restlessness at home front, obsessive thinking can be a tricky one to manage as well a few of us here on the forums have come across that - there certainly are many strategies you can employ and no doubt some of our community members will chime in soon on this thread 🙂

I know youm mentioned you are on meds. In addition just curious as to whether you have a counsellor or psych you are seeing at the moment? Let us know 🙂 As you're new I would recommend checking out our Community Guidelies here.

In response to: I don’t know what to do with myself

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: I don’t know what to do with myself

@eastwestroad Hey eastwestroad and welcome to the forum :). I was firstly diagnost with bipolar 1 now with schizoaffective disorder and yes have had similar problems as your self as in abnormal sleep patterns and eating problems. Have you spoken to your doc re sleep and eating etc? When I was still very sick I could barely stay awake to have a shower after a full nights sleep I was so tired all the time.

Meds and diagnosis knocked me around so much for months before things settled. I still need heaps of sleep but sleep during the day not at night so my sleep pattern is still out of wack :o.. As for eating I have problems as I am over eating and have put on alot of weight so am actively trying to control it. It is so hard makes me depressed :(.

I hope I have helped a bit. Fyi if you want to talk with someone directly put a @ in front of their name like I did for you and that will send them a notification of your message :)..

Hope to see you around the forums. peaxxx

In response to: Re: I don’t know what to do with myself

TeejSenior Contributor

Re: I don’t know what to do with myself

😔😣🥺😫😢😖

In response to: Re: I don’t know what to do with myself

TeejSenior Contributor

Re: I don’t know what to do with myself

🤯💥🌪🎢🌑:pill::pill::pill:🚪🛌🌑🌑

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