Guilt and swamped with worry

@Sweet_cheeks Hey Sweet_cheeks yes me! I have schizoaffective disorder, one child with chronic depression and aspergers and epilepsy, one with autism, epilepsy, schizophrenia and one suffers from depression but is otherwise okay. I get exactly where you are coming from. I understand completely. It sucks big time. Anytime you want to talk just tag me. peaxxx

hi @Bunniekins

First I'd like to say you are very supportive and lovely. Secondly I'd like to say you have a lot on your plate so you might understand. Its 2.00 and I've been ruminating.I found out that my youngest son has ptsd can you believe it. It's shocking. I feel so guilty. He has seen me in many states and when I'm manic I yell and things like that. I'm trying to get one of my other sons to leave the house. He's very hard to get on with. I can't blame him entirely but when he was away at uni, it was a lot more peaceful I think it will help in the long run. My autistic son was sexually abused by his best friend over the weekend so I'm up late at night and sleeping upstairs to make sure he doesn't go out yelling in the streets. We have one lock but he might be able to get out the other one which he has or climb out the window.

I just wanted to talk. I can talk to my husband but he's overwhelmed too. I can't talk to anyone else really. A lot of people apart from some close friends don't even know that I have mental health issues. I don't want to burden my friends. I usually turn to my sisters but they are very judgmental and sort of smug. I think you can understand. Your situation of course is extremeley difficult and you are still cheerful on this site.

@Sweet_cheeks Hi Sweet_cheeks It is hard isn't it when you see your children suffering. Like you I have great guilt when I think back to when I was manic and was totally out of control (I can remember some of it but alot is like a dream it comes and goes like the tides). You and I have to learn to forgive ourselves; It was not us it was the mental illness doing the damage. That is the way we must look at it to be abe to move forward in our lives. To become healthy and live our lives the way our children would want us to.

So sorry to hear about what happened to your autistic son. It is my worse nightmare. Is your autistic son verbal like mine? What are your plans re the assault? will you go to the authorities? So many questions for you which you dont have to answer of course. Just know you have my sympathy and I am here if you want to talk re son.

Thank you for your compliments :). I try and stay as cheerful as possible. I don't know where I would be without my Sane forum friends everyone here trys to be as supportive as possibe:). I am here whenever you want to talk. Love peaxxx

Hi @Bunniekins

hi greenapea. How are things with you? I watched jaws last night with my son and I found out Richard Dreyfus is bipolar. THe shark looks a bit manic to me. I was going to start a meetup for parents with mental health problems. I just wanted it to be a social thing really. I think it is hard being a parent in any situation because people really judge you very harshly which is in a way good for the protection of children but on the other hand they don't know the full story and it really takes a whollop to your confidence. How are you going with the kids. I'm going to sea sculptures by the sea tomorrow. It will be a beautiful day like today.

@Sweet_cheeks Hey Sweet_cheeks it has been awhile :). ' people really judge you very harshly which is in a way good for the protection of children but on the other hand they don't know the full story and it really takes a whollop to your confidence.' Says Sweet_cheeks - it is even more than confidence with me as they (certain people) have attacked my standing in the community by attacking me with rumours and falsehoods. Luckily I know what is true and over time hopefully the truth will prevail and I will be vindicated and all those who have spread these lies about me will look vicious and nasty which is what they are. In the meantime I just get on with life and try not to let it get me down :). Luckily for me I really dont care, I have a thick skin, what people think of me other than my friends and family.

I wish I could come to your meetings it would be so nice to be amongst other parents doing it tough and finding strength amongst others. Good luck with it. :). Have a lovely day tomorrow at Sculptures by the Sea. Should be a lovely day for it. xxx

@Bunniekins Hi greenpea, sculptures by the sea was great. It was a nice break. I hope you get time out too. I'm sorry about the nasty gossips. I hope they feel guilty when the truth icomes out. and aplogise. The meetup is $76 for 6 months so I am up in the air about doing it. I think it's needed though- a fun social group for the mentally ill. We can have a picnic in Callan Park only joking But there are pretty grounds. Hope all is going well with you at the moment. Well better than the bad times. You certainly have a lot on your plate. Mt youngest son is doing very well with therapy.

@Sweet_cheeks Hey Sweet_cheeks thank you for your kind words they mean alot to me. I a really glad that you had a great time at Sculptures by the Sea :). You will have to tell me about having picnics in Callan Park :). I am up the north coast of nsw. Hope you are having a wonderful day.