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Worried and don't know what to do

Jb5Casual Contributor01 Sept 2019, 8:33 am AEST

Worried and don't know what to do

I'm so worried about my partner.

He has all the signs of a mental breakdown and when it's a good day he'll acknowledge this, but he won't get help because he thinks that everyone is either too young and over educated with no experience or too old and under educated.

He is self medicating with drugs and alcohol, suicidal in that he just doesn't want to do any of this any more.

On top of this I'm managing 5 kids in a blended family and I'm just struggling. I can't talk to my family because they'd tell me to leave. I can't talk to his family because he'd take it as a betrayal.

I've got a referral to a psychologist to talk about my mental heath bedside of the situation.

I don't know what to do

9 replies

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In response to: Worried and don't know what to do

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 9:58 am AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

hi @Jb5 and welcome
it sounds really tough for you. I don't really have the same experience as you but wanted to welcome you.
I am glad that you have some support for yourself, it can be really hard to watch our loved ones go through a hard time but unaccepting of any help.

perhaps @Faith-and-Hope @Determined @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Smc could offer some advice on what might be helpful

In response to: Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 10:22 am AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Thanks for the tag @outlander 💕

I am hearing you @Jb5 , and I am bedside in a somewhat similar situation, but I am at uni (mature age student) and can’t stop to chat about it just now .... sending you a virtual hug for what it’s worth, but you have landed somewhere where people can hear you and truly underatand.

I will be back later at the other end of the day. Keep taking care of you, and take whatever shortcuts you need to to support your own wellbeing. It’s not selfish - it’s necessary.

In response to: Worried and don't know what to do

SmcSenior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 5:10 pm AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Hi @Jb5. That is a scary place to be in. Drugs and alcohol are risky enough in their own right, and only a very temporary "false fix".
Going to see a psychologist yourself is definitely worthwhile. When you're caring for someone struggling with MI, you pretty much need to be "unqualified" 24 hour on call mental health support, and you need as much backup as you can get.
Am wondering if you could hunt around for a male psychologist of a similar age to you man? Might he be more inclined to accept help from someone who he'd see as a "peer"?

In response to: Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Shaz51Senior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 5:24 pm AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

I am hearing you @Jb5 ,Drugs and alcohol are risky enough in their own right,

how are you going today

my husband had a breakdown he took himself to the hospital

we are here for you my friend

@Smc, @Faith-and-Hope , @outlander

In response to: Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Jb5Casual Contributor02 Sept 2019, 5:31 pm AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Hey.

I'm better this morning.

He's talked and we've got a gp appt for tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Shaz51Senior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 5:33 pm AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

that is great @Jb5

walking with you and your family this week

let us know how it all goes

In response to: Re: Worried and don't know what to do

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 5:55 pm AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

That is wonderful news @Jb5 ..... I hope it all goes well.

In response to: Re: Worried and don't know what to do

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Sept 2019, 7:20 pm AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

great to hear @Jb5

In response to: Worried and don't know what to do

outlanderSenior Contributor07 Sept 2019, 10:16 am AEST

Re: Worried and don't know what to do

hi @Jb5
how are things going for you?

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