Talking to my manager

Hi @Lise07

I read your post feeling a lot of 'me too' and 'I hear you'. I think I am someone who can appear like I'm doing really well and have my stuff together while I feel everything except that. My "I'm fine" face feels like it crushes me sometimes and my perfectionist tendencies can be crippling. When I'm feeling overwhelmed I too can run myself down trying to do more, do better, fix it... etc. I know I need to chill and to let some things go but it's hard when everything feels important and everything feels like it needs to have 100% put in to it 😏 I'm reluctant to say that I'm struggling in case I hear "what would help?". Often I don't know what a doable answer to that is.

It's so great to hear your workplace seems so supportive of mental health. I get that it doesn't take away how difficult it might feel to be faced with having a conversation about this with your manager though.

What would it be like to say to your manager that you're feeling overwhelmed but you don't know what to do about it? I wonder if that could be a good place to start the conversation.

I know you're not alone with feeling like you are and I'm hoping that others with personal experience having conversations like this at work will come by and share soon.

Hi @Lise07 ,

Read your post a few times and not sure how to respond or what suggestions to try and provide. I certainly relate to some of your struggles and thoughts in this area.

I to work for a fairly supportive business and was lucky to have a very compassionate manager when I need one. If I had of needed one at a different time I wouldn't have been so fortunate. I had a horrible manager for about 18 months and I know things would of been very different in that sceanrio.

I personally would talk to your manager sooner rather than later if you feel confident and comfortable enough to do it. If you find it hard to do it in person perhaps you could do it on the phone. I had to do the latter as I wasn't working when I was going through a breakdown and mental health issues, I was actually manic during the period. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2.

You could also look at tapping into your employee assistance program and see what further advice and support they could provide. I still talk to a psychologist through the program where I work.

I think its better to try and do it now before things build up more for you. It might help clear your mind and that could help you feel better about work and your colleagues. It's a tough situation and no perfect way to try and tackle it.

Don't be to hard on yourself, being diagnosed with something is challenging at the best of time and even harder if you are trying to hold together a career at the same time.

Would it be possible to take some time out at work and work through some of your issues? I basically had a year off where I used nearly all my sick leave and holidays and returned to work for only 2 days a week for a few months. In hindsight I wish I had of taken a little longer and not done the 2 days.

Wish you all the best in getting through this @Lise07

Thanks for the messages @CheerBear and @Gazza75, they did help me.

I spoke to my manager this afternoon. I had written some notes in the morning about what I wanted to talk about, how to present it, and what I wanted to get out of the conversation so that I'd be better able to handle my nerves and shame (this task ended up involving multiple therapy skills so it was good practice, as my therapist suggested it would be :D).

It went well. We agreed that I would take a few days to a week off, after which time I might be better able to say what I need going forward. The leave starts immediately and he will check in early next week. I will also get to speak to my therapist early next week so it's good timing.

Thanks for the update @Lise07 , good on you for having the conversation, definitely not easy. It sounds like a good compromise for you and your workplace right now. I hope you feel a bit more comfortable about everything now. Tae care 🙂