universepocketSenior Contributor
tell me your story.
Does anyone with schizoaffective disorder relate to this? Recently I came out of a 6+ year psychosis, my diagnosis has been bipolar 1 for a few months now and I guess until a few weeks ago I was pretty confident that I had reached a final diagnosis. Now, much more sane, I see that it was much more than that. I never really felt at home in the bipolar community because I was so much more afraid and suspicious. Also incredibely paranoid. Oh and of course, even though I didn't realize at the time, I was hallucinating and I was also in the middle of a mass dillusion. I guess I just came to the forum to ramble today. I'm only just starting to accept this. How could I think that was normal for 6+ years? My Mum told me today that not even six months ago we were in the city and all I could tell her was "What if they laced the screens of smart phones with poison in the production line and there was a mass of deaths?" or "What if the people in the department store purfume section poisoned you via giving you a free sample?" or when we were riding in a cab she saw me rubbing the seat beside me with my sleave and I said "They could find out my identity by tracing my fingerprints in this cab." Don't get me wrong, those are great ideas for a book. Which I will probably write in my next manic episode.
It's been so hard reworking what career I want to pursue. Was it hard for anyone else? My biggest priority is to have a family. I'm so scared that it might not happen. I can't even leave my home with out my mother. Does anyone else have continence issues? I know that's gross but I think it's got something to do with how terrified I've always been.
You know, I really feel so happy in the schizoaffective community. Everyone has been so understanding and supportive. And of course it's so nice to relate to other people.
Ever since I came out of my psycosis, I have much less severe symptoms. I feel like my biggest issues came with the schizophrena side of things. Although I'm still debilitated and after 5pm it feels like a real life horror movie. Sorry I'm just rambling on. I think I just really want to know other peoples experience with schizoaffective disorder. Please, tell your story below.