Unsure about what I’m feeling - Sad or Stupid

@Nutmeg0301 Many of us here have experiened simialr feelings at some stage. You are certainly not stupid - what you are feeling is completely valid. It is a really tough position to be in when you have no pleasure in things you usually have done in the past and even more difficult when you have those tough feelings of not wanting to exist anymore.

I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help with all that you are feeling - you definitely would not be wasting anyone's time - those supports are there for exactly the type of things you are feeling. Do you have a GP you see regularly? That would be a good place to start. Of course we are here on the forum to support you, listen and provide our own knowledge from our experiences but if you are feeling this way - and have been for a while - then seeking that professional support would be beneficial for you.

We all have that support through a combination of GP, psychologist, psychiatrist, support workers, etc and it is an integral component in our MH battles. It is not at all wasting anyone's time - it is what we need to do to get through each day and work towards recovery (whatever that looks like for each of us).

It is great that you have found us here - and super brave of you to join up and let us in on what is happening for you and that is something positive you have done for yourself - so do not be afraid to ask for help as you certainly deserve that.

Welcome to the forum

Thank you @Zoe7 for replying to me so quickly.

I don’t have a regular GP, I usually just go to a medical centre and speak to whoever is available. I’ve never been to a doctor for mental health before. I don’t have a strong connection with any of the doctors at the practice and I’m not sure I feel comfortable to talk to them about how I’m feeling.

My Mum was diagnosed with Depression a few years ago but I can’t talk to her about this either just yet.

It is not something you need to go it alone with @Nutmeg0301 ...but in saying that you need to be the one that is ready to talk about it with whoever you choose to. There are a lot of people here that have not or do not have thatnstrong connection with a GP - I am very lucky to have a great GP who has been along this journey with me the whole way. It has made a significant difference with how I have coe (and not many times) but she has been there the whole time.

I hear that right now you are feeling very much alone in all this - again something so many here can relate too - so you are among friends here. Reaching out here is a great first step - being able to chat with people who are or have gone through similar.

It seems the new position at work is a factor also - it is natural when you are not feeling well to have those negative thoughts about many facets of your life. I suspect you are doing the job well and fulfilling the role and expectations just as well but you lack the confidence right now to know that. That is something that does come with depression often - a distinct lack of confidence and feeling that you are not good enough. I think it is hard to get out of that mindset without support.

You will get some of that support here - there are a lot of caring and compassionate people here that will encourage and listen to you. It certainly makes you feel less alone when you have others to share your thoughts and struggles with.

Is there a particular GP at the clinic that you have previously seen that you think you could share some of that with? Mental health is just as important as physical health and we need to take care of both equally. Does your workplace have an access program to a psych - that may also be an option. I know it seems a bit daunting thinking about seeking professional help but it is also a good idea to get in before it takes hold of you. It can be such a downward spiral and from what you have described it certainly seems like you are struggling.

Sounds completely valid to me! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and in 2019 there is definitely not a lot of job security in many professions. It definitely pays to be careful with your career path but you are definitely smart enough to navigate through.

In my experience it is natural to question things when you get overly stressed and feeling emotionally unbalanced. I hope you can restore your balance somehow with the right dose of excercise/sleep/relaxation. At least it works for me! Sometimes I meditate or hit the gym in the morning and it keeps me glowing and facing the day's challenges.

You might like to get a referral from your GP to chat with someone you can confide in like a specialist? These days you can just skype them and its quick and painless and you may be eligible for a certain number of sessions each year. They may be able to help you determine if you're having a bad week or if it's a clinical issue which you can talk about together?

Hope it gets better for you