At breaking point caring for suicidal autistic teenage daughter

@SilverLinings Hi SilverLinings and welcome to the forum. I have a son2 with autism and other problems and a daughter is aspergers and other issues When my son was 16 through to 21 it was a living hell with visits by the police and ambulance workers as my son2 was completely out of control with violence, self harm and psychosis. His psychiatrist said at the time that things would improve when he was over the teen period and the psychiatrist was right. Things have improved alot .... it is not perfect but our household has calmed down and my son2 is in a much better place in his head.

My suggestions are to keep going with the psychiatrist and psychologist appointments and medications even though it seems they are not working keep them going. Get as much respite for yourself as you possibly can through friends and family. I know tht is easier said then done. Don't forget to pay attention to your other daughter the siblings suffer terribly during this period. Be honest with the sibling about everything. If your asperbergs daughter requires lots of hospital stays so be it. We had the police and ambulance on speed dial there for awhile. At least when your daughter is in hospital you can have the respite for you and your other daughter. Do no tough it out call for help.

There is a ending to this just hang in there and know it is not a forever situation. I am more than willing to be here for you and tell you everything that happened with my son2 if that helps. Just ask. Remember to put a @Bunniekins to tag me. Take care.greenpeaxx

Under the Mental Health Act you are entitled to ask/get a Second Opinion from a different psychiatrist. Our situation sounds similar to yours. Teenager with Aspergers not improving in fact worsening with frequent suicidal attempts and increasing violent behaviour (very out of character) which started suddenly about 6 mths ago. As a result of the second opinion he was started on a different class of medication and now touch-wood has been much more stable. The second opinion psychiatrist also recommended some further tests to make sure nothing was being missed. As common as Aspergers is, I think a lot of mental health professionals aren’t great at understanding how it can look clinically when there is a mental illness overlying the Aspergers. I think they are even worse at knowing how to manage things.

What a tremendously difficult time for you as a parent @SilverLinings. Naturally you are worried about your daughter but it sounds like you are doing all you can to help her access supports. Do you have support for yourself as well? Being able to talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling or that can help with brief respite is just as important as a primary carer.

@SilverLiningsHi SilverLinings...many years ago at a time when I was feeling much like yourself and my son was in crisis...I had a chat with a psychiatrist at the hospital in which he was being involuntarily treated. Upon leaving, the doctor to said to me, "Having a mental illness means your son has had many losses in his life; he cannot afford to lose you, too." It's something I've never forgotten and it has helped to keep me going through some times when I was close to giving up. I hope you will find it helpful, too.

Hi @SilverLinings, how are you doing? Just wondering how you are feeling this week. Feel free to write as much as you like, you are amongst others who understand.

I echo the other comments and wish you every strength to get through this time. It’s tough. I’m the primary carer for a friend who has also had many losses in her life. Suicidal attempts are becoming more frequent and the grief/guilt she faces on a daily basis are huge. That quote from the doctor is so true, I hear my friend tell me that so often and it’s the one of the things that keeps me going when things are rough and I’m scared for her safety.