Business owner with BPD needing to go for in-patient treatment – what to say to clients?

Hi @Anya_77

That's a toughie - I am sorry you have BPD and glad really that you are taking time to self-care and have treatment in hospital

And I haven't spoken to you before - are you a new contributor - if you are I would like to take this chance to welcome you to the Forum Family

Personally I think you should go to your original idea of telling your clients you need medical treatment - after all that is quite true - and if they ask just say something needs attention and leave it at that

It's not really their business - it's yours - and there is this stigma around that is not your fault - not our fault - it happens

I wish you the best and I am glad you have asked us

Dec

Hi Dec,

Thanks for your reply and your welcome, much appreciated!

I'm fairly new on here, yes, and have been a little sporadic with my activity on the forums. Prob due to there being a huge element of denial within me over all this...but it's coming to a head, I'm pretty public facing in the community and I also broadcast a radio show, it's hard to "hide" and the repercussions of unravelling publicly are big here. On top of that taking three weeks out as a business owner is a really tall order financielly and I've also eaten my way through my emergency savings cushion over the past few months of delaying treatment but not being fit enough to maintain my normal level of billable hours.

Yes I'm afraid of the stigma around BPD, even my psychiatrist said he has delayed recording it in my files because he doesn't want pre-judgement within the system. My clients at various times have confided in me about their mental health but BPD is a different beast.

Thanks again for your encourgament and I hope to see you on here again soon

It's really rough - society can be really unkind @Anya_77

It seems wrong that anyone has to "come-out" and tell people if they have personal differences - I can't see why personally - and going public about BDP is something we would rather keep to ourselves -

Have you been diagnosed with depression along with BPD - people like Prince Harry have come out and told the public about that - and one of my cousins started something on Facebook - about his depression - and he lives in another country and I didn't know he had it for such a long time - it must be hard to do that

But maybe depression is easier for people to understand - you are afraid of the stigma of BPD as I would be. Your business is your income and nest-egg - hard to risk

(Sigh) I don't know what I would do - I know how ill-informed people can really impinged into our lives with their opinions - which we don't need

One thing you could do is inform yourself as much as possible about BPD because it variers a great deal fro person to person and a lot of people in these forums have some form of it.

You may be in a position to establish a platform - a discussion - and inform other people - it's a thought - but tough -

Stay in touch - no one here is at all judgmental about the subject - everyone is very supportive - we all battle with some form of prejudice - we really understand that

Dec

Hi @Anya_77

welcome. Sorry to read you’re diagnosis of BPD.

I have BPD and have been in hospital a few times. I told my supervisor that I wasn’t well and needed time off. They didn’t need to know anymore. Over the years I did tell them I was suffering depression. And they support me. But never told them about BPD because of its stigma.

Its good that you are going into hospital. Does this mean you will be closing your business while you’re away or will someone else be there.

No one needs to know.

Take care. Happy to chat anytime xx

hi @Anya_77 it's good that you've identified you may have some denial and that you're being pro-active and going to hospital to care for your well being.

I'd tell no-one associated with your business about your bpd, it's none of their business. I have complex mental health problems and my family & closest friends don't know about them becuase they just don't get it. I've tried to explain parts of it to some of them & either they aren't interested or just plain don't get it. I would never disclose to an employer or client, there is no reason whatsoever to mix my psychiatric condition with my professional network, it's aboslutely none of their business. As you say, just tell your clients that you have a medical issue, that's sufficient. They don't need any further information about your absence and will just want to know when you'll be up & running again.

Hi @BryanaCamp nice to see you on here again and thanks for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel that you can't disclose your health to people closest to you. That must be really hard. I've found that trusting a few select (and unexpected) people has actually helped, but then I'm also trying to reverse what's become a pretty ingrained habit of hiding / avoiding / isolating, so just the act of letting them in by telling them is helping my process.

BUT you're totally right with what you said about it being no-one's business from a professional sense, and it's hard because clients actually reveal a lot to ME! I'm not even prepared to go as far as to say it's a mental health thing. I guess I'm nervous about ongoing handling of this topic because I'm guessing that I won't be coming back from hopsital magically fixed, it will crop up again.

Anyway yes the whole thing of finally packing up and doing this in-patient program, it's scary but I can't see any major shifts happening until I do it. Thanks heaps for your encouragement. I hope are things going ok with you.

Hi @Anya_77

I have been think about you and what you are facing right now - the trip into hospital would be enough to work on but then there are your clients and that's just plain risky - and difficult. Other people seem to agree that it's no one's business but then

I think you mentioned that people have opened up to you - that's fine - you have been able to cope with that - and also you have an ingrained habit of hiding, avoiding and isolating and that's something your are able to overcome - and you might learn how in hospital - but maybe overcome that with other people - not your clients - until you feel okay about it

Maybe you won't come home magically cured - but it might be the case that you are in a better place to talk to people about it - a break in hospital might make a huge difference - don't make up your mind yet - see what 3 weeks of therapy can do for you

I don't know what kind of work you do - possibly you can continue to do some on-line in hospital - it's only a thought.

Also - if you can and it's okay for you and your team - keep in touch with us - people do this - I had short visits to hospital with burning out on reactive depression - those 3-4 days made a huge difference in my life and what I had to return home to manage - you might be surprised at the difference it can make

In the long run the decisions are yours - it's really great you have shared so much with us though

Dec