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Suffering bad but still staying strong

FrecklesCasual Contributor02 June 2019, 9:56 pm AEST

Suffering bad but still staying strong

Good evening,

i got got asked by @CheerBear to post a little of my story for you all to read.

So so on the 2nd of March this year I finally had enough of my marriage and walked away. Now I didn’t walk away with out good reason. For the last almost 3 years of my marriage it has been emotionally abusive and this was brought to my attention while I was pregnant with my daughter back in 2017. The reason why this was brought to my attention was because I was seeing someone to help me try and process what was going on with my mum, which is another story all together.

Since walking away away not only have I not spoken to my babies in 2 weeks because he refuses to let me speak to them, but I have had to leave because of the person he turns me into when I am in the same town as him. I am leaving my babies behind as they are in a stable environment and as hard as this is for me to admit I am way to broken to try and work full time and take care of both my babies. In saying this though I have always worked full time ever since my daughter was 4 months old (feb 2018) because we couldn’t afford for me not to, then I became the main income earner and it became harder to walk away because I was providing everything for my family. My depression spiked and so did my anxiety to the point that in May 2018 I had my tubes removed to ensure I wasn’t going to bring into my horrible marriage any more babies as they deserved a much better life.

There is way more to this that just what I have written. I hope I haven’t crossed a line by saying what I have said just nit sure there days where to go with my thoughts.

8 replies

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In response to: Suffering bad but still staying strong

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 June 2019, 10:48 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

Feeling you have been through a lot of pain @Freckles

Sometimes it takes a lot of strength to walk away as you have. My heart screams out that I hope you are reunited with your babies as soon as possible.

I bet there more to your story. It would be HUGE.

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

FrecklesCasual Contributor03 June 2019, 11:14 am AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

@Appleblossom ,

it it took me almost 3 years to walk away and I left everything behind in the process, my house, my furniture, literally everything... including my babies. That was the hardest thing I did was walk away from my babies.

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

Gazza75Senior Contributor03 June 2019, 1:15 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

Hi @Freckles , it must have taken so much courage and strength to move away from your children. I can only imagine how hard that would have been and my heart goes out to you. Hang in there.

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

FrecklesCasual Contributor03 June 2019, 1:19 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

@Gazza75 ,

so unbelivabley hard because I haven’t seen them in almost 3 weeks, I haven’t spoken to them either. My anxiety has gone through the roof and I’m having more down days than good ones at the moment, only thing keeping me going is work and my partner.

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

AppleblossomSenior Contributor03 June 2019, 4:01 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

@Freckles

I have had to walk away from some older children to find the most peaceful path in a bad marriage break up. It is so hard to know the right thing to do.

Have you got any good counselling or mental health support and ongoing arrangements to see your littlies?

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

FrecklesCasual Contributor03 June 2019, 4:20 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

@Appleblossom ,

nomto to all three of your questions, I’m waiting for the ex to give me his version of the parental agreement which I know I’m not going to be happy with and changes will need to be made I’m just not sure if I want to fight to make the cnages or if I should just sign what he is giving me

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

AppleblossomSenior Contributor03 June 2019, 4:29 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

Its so weird the mother of one of my children just phoned me, since I last replied to you.

I would get as much help as you can, so you can make good decisions for the long term, rather than just give into your ex. Obviously there may be a lot of wisdom in agreeing to some things. We got Consent Orders in our divorce. However you wil always be their biological mother. They are still very young. Are they in daycare or does he have another partner?

I also have been a child separated from parents when young. Its tricky but not the end of the world. So good you are staying strong and working, but sensible advice about how you proceed is important. For me it was all years ago and the everything has changed so I dont know anything to advise rather than give vague support..

In response to: Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

Ali11Senior Contributor03 June 2019, 10:00 pm AEST

Re: Suffering bad but still staying strong

No experiences to draw on, @Freckles & @Appleblossom, but sending love to you both

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.