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jem80Senior Contributor
Sometimes I feel like others are trying to control what I do. I know they mean well but it is frustrating that they can’t cope with me changing my routine which I don’t have problems with. I know that in life it is not the same everyday but I’m expected to do the same thing every day and week and it gets tiring.
In response to: Control
BryanaCampSenior Contributor
hi @jem80
does your daily routine involve children, do you have kids?
does your daily routine take place in the workplace, are you working?
It's good to be spontaneous and have variety but some things benefit from predictability and structure such as kids daily routines and the workplace.
In response to: Control
Gazza75Senior Contributor
@jem80- I know the feeling and its frustrating. What are the expectations you feel burdened with?
In response to: Re: Control
jem80Senior Contributor
I don't have children and I break up my week between work and external community activities. However when I do an activity or work that falls on a day when I normally go out with someone, they aren't able to cope with change. Whilst I understand that they want to make sure that I am fine, I feel that there is no flexibility. It makes it difficult for me and I'm then made to feel guilty because I can't met them on that set particular day and not another day or time.
In response to: Re: Control
jem80Senior Contributor
The expectations that I feel burdened with is that I have to conform to someone else's time table and routine and there is no flexibility for change. I have offered another day and time but they are not interested and then I am made to feel guilty because I can't meet that specific day and time. It's tiring.
In response to: Re: Control
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Control is tricky as there are lots of ways people can use it to get things going their own way.
I had kids and taught so was very disciplined about routine for a while ....
Its pretty normal not to want to be controlled. @jem80
I have allowed people to control me a lot, I am finally moving away from that, but find an awful lot of people will try and put one over you just to see if they can ... I find it tiring too.
Its fair to have some scope for spontaneity in life.
In response to: Re: Control
Ali11Senior Contributor
This must be really frustrating for you @jem80, especially when you feel you are not being heard. Have you shared how it makes you feel when they are not interested in meeting on another day or time?
Some people relish in having a routine and do not understand when others make a change just for one day or one week. In some circumstances this can be due to differing expectations of the relationship or level of desired social contact, but you deserve to be heard and supported. Hope you find something that works for you both.
In response to: Re: Control
Gazza75Senior Contributor
@jem80- It sounds like they are being rather inflexible and not very thoughtful of you. If it's something that happens all the time I'd be speaking up about it and telling them how you feel. It sounds like you have been flexible and accomodating to them and doing the right thing.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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