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Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

Unknown userMember18 May 2019, 5:37 pm AEST

Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

I'm so over being unable to get the people around me to understand the difference between sad and depressed.

Today an aunt who I thought I was close to and that she understood me, told me that depression isn't real. She said that it was just a made up disease so that lazy, attention seeking people could get out of work and have people dote on them.

Then I have others say that most people like me who have been diagnosed aren't depressed because we can still do stuff and depressed people don't get out of bed.

I've also been told that I'm faking it or that I just need to get over it and stop dwelling.

Well for me depression is real.

Every day I have to force myself to get up and some days I just don't make it outta bed. I then make myself smile and look okay so my 6 year old doesn't think that I'm sick. I feel like the face people see is not mine that it's just a mask. I push myself to get through the day and get things done like taking my son to school and cleaning. When people ask me if I'm okay I lie and say yes and then the few who see through this lie ask me what's wrong I can't answer.

This is because I just don't know, I feel so down and exhausted but I don't have a reason to be. I feel like there is this dark cloud above me and it's weighing me down. I want to be happy not just on the outside but on the inside too.

Why can't people just understand

3 replies

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In response to: Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

Serenity1Senior Contributor18 May 2019, 5:51 pm AEST

Re: Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

@Former-Member my dad has always said something similar to your Aunt everytime I tried to talk to him about depression- he would say it doesn't exist or he doesn't believe in it- come to realise he is suffering from it so severely- so maybe some ppl who do have it just want to pretend it doesn't exist- so they don't have to admit to themselves that they have it ,& face it, for whatever reason-ego? Idk
That's really mean what your aunt said- ppl are so mean- I had one mum from school who was Asian telling me how it is the year of the golden pig or something-& how that means that it's a year of receiving money & prosperity-& I said- oh that sounds good! Jokingly-& She said very bitchy-"but only for people who work hard"-& looked at me like I was dirt.
-1) she doesn't know I don't work because she or ANYONE else from that school has never asked me- she has made an assumption
-2) just because I am not in paid employment does not mean I am not working on projects, studying, bettering myself, raising a child singlehanded alone with not one single person to call on for support if needed ,
Good on you for making it out of bed & putting a smile on your face for your child- sometimes that is all I can do- sometimes I can't even pretend smile anymore these days- it's really hard.
They don't understand because they have never experienced it to the degree others on here have- so they could never understand unless they have experienced it , no matter how hard they try-or they do understand & are lying to themselves

In response to: Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

BryanaCampSenior Contributor18 May 2019, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

hi @Former-Member I hear you.

I struggle to get out of bed, shower and dress, do the dishes, grocery shopping and cookery. Teeth brushing & flossing is just about impossible as is hair washing. Good on you for doing your best with your son and putting on a brave face for him, I'm sure he appreciates it and I'm sure he benefits from you protecting him, being so young. I just have a cat to look after so I can't imagine how much work & energy it takes to parent a little boy.

I know what you mean that people don't understand. I've told my psychiatrist the anti-depressants aren't doing anything & I don't think he believes me. I'm only productive for a short part of each day so am just amazed at the energy of everyone around me & don't know why I don't have it, I just feel really lazy and ashamed. I don't feel like it is justified becuase I'm depressed, I just feel pretty lazy and tired. I have an aunt who is very important to me too but I don't tell her I'm depressed or anxious or psychotic becuase she doesn't understand - she thinks I can change if only I'm strong willed and disciplined. So I just don't tell her. I find that I benefit from my friendship with her so long as I don't confide in her about my mental illness. I find that generally with my family and friends too.

It's hard. I also suffer from rage/anxiety and have been drinking quite a lot to dampen that.

Hope it helps a little to know you're not alone.

In response to: Re: Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

Unknown userMember19 May 2019, 10:01 am AEST

Re: Why can't people see the difference between sad and depressed

Hi @Serenity1 and @BryanaCamp

It's sad how ignorant some people are. It makes it so hard to confide in people you should be able to when so many say stuff like that

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