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Harm OCD Struggles

HaylesNew Contributor03 May 2019, 3:14 am AEST

Harm OCD Struggles

Hi, folks.

Basically, ever since I was a child, I’ve suffered from intense thoughts relating to harming my loved ones. I can vividly remember being up late at night in tears—completely distraught—over it and not being able to tell my mum, fearful of what she would think of me.

I still suffer today and haven’t shared it with anyone outside this forum just now. These thoughts are pretty unrelenting, and it probably doesn’t help that I’ve taken a great interest in true crime.

The ‘what if’s plague me. Sure, I think I’m a good person. But people have snapped before; what if I do too? I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind, and it’s out of my control. Every time I pick up a sharp object, I don’t wanna think of hurting someone.

This is mostly just a vent post. I’m currently seeing a psychiatrist (I’ve informed him of my OCD—just that I fear of my family getting hurt. Even with his credentials, I’m too ashamed to go into specifics.)

4 replies

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In response to: Harm OCD Struggles

BunniekinsSenior Contributor03 May 2019, 4:28 am AEST

Re: Harm OCD Struggles

@Hayles Hi Hayles and welcome to the forum 🙂 you are very brave coming online and speaking about this topic. It is a taboo topic which you are not alone, believe me you are not. Nor are you a bad person in anyway shape or form having these feelings. The fact that you are seeing a psychiatrist is a wonderful thing and hopefully over time you will be able to open up more and more to him without fear of judgement.

Hayles you have come to the right forums for non judgemental support :). I can honestly say the people on these forums are terrific and will open up to you with open arms to support you. If you haven't done so already you might like to have a look at the good morning thread it is a thread that actually goes on all day and is frequented my an assortment of formites so it is a good way to meet people. Tonight at around 7pm is the Friday Night Feast threat which goes on for about 1 hour or more it is another great way to meet people.

Again you are not a bad person :). I hope to see you around the forums. greenpea x

In response to: Re: Harm OCD Struggles

BunniekinsSenior Contributor03 May 2019, 4:31 am AEST

Re: Harm OCD Struggles

@Hayles spelliing error it is not the Friday Night threat is *thread .... rolls eyes at bad spelling!

In response to: Re: Harm OCD Struggles

HaylesNew Contributor03 May 2019, 3:30 pm AEST

Re: Harm OCD Struggles

Thank you! It’s probably something I should’ve done a lot sooner, but.

Your warm reception means a lot to me.

In response to: Re: Harm OCD Struggles

Ali11Senior Contributor03 May 2019, 6:55 pm AEST

Re: Harm OCD Struggles

Welcome @Hayles, thank you for sharing what you are going through. As @Bunniekins has mentioned, you are an incredibly strong person for already identifying that you need some additional help in the way of a psychiatrist. I know that you are scared of the "what ifs" but the fact that nothing has happened just reiterates your strength and you are a good person. How are you feeling this evening?

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