what to do about agitation

@Eden1919 Hi Eden1919 that is a hard one as I know when I get super agitated I have to stay away from people too and lock myself in the house as well. Interestingly I find having a coffee or two helps. I don't know why as you would think it would give the opposite effect but it doesn't.

I also listen to very fast music like The Prodigy it somehow soothes me. As I say you would think it would do the opposite but it doesn't I hope this helps a bit. greenpea xxx

Its a really good question @Eden1919

For some of us, who have experienced it a lot, it is a huge part of our experience. When its bad for me, I am best gently rocking under the doona ... I have to say agitation was with continuously for years ... and so in some cases, like @Bunniekins coffees helped me too ... it all depends on context. It was the normalness of having making and then having a coffee that was calming. Everybody does it, well almost everybody.

Listening to music, reading, walking, running, swimming have all helped me, but it is all about "going with" your own individual preferences and "avoiding" your own individual triggers. For a few year I could not quiet my mind to read more than a paragraph at a time. As an avid reader that was a big loss for me, but still the act of choosing a book and opening a page and trying to focus on the words ... helped. I could not force it though. Gently Gently Gently

hi @Eden1919 I know exactly how you feel, aggitation drove me to drinking alcohol which is really problematic and not advisable. I was really desperate. Sorry I can't offer any practical suggestions, I just understand how you feel, I know that even showering and brushing teeth can feel impossible.

I hope you're feeling a bit better today? DId you manage to get any sleep?

How are your studies going?

@jay2 yes breathing doesnt really help me but it is something that is often mentioned.

@Bunniekins i cant stand coffee lol i hate the smell and i have only tasted coffee flavoured things but i hhated that too. it makes it hard though to catch up with adults because people always want to go for coffee and i dont even like sitting near people when they drink it as i get a headache. still i am glad it works for you. i do try music but it has mixed effects.

@Appleblossom yes it really is about finding the right thing for you personally. swimming sometimes helps but it is too cold and i dont even have acess to a pool.

@BryanaCamp i am not going well with the studies at all. i can bearly take care of myself at the moment my appartment is a mess and i am stuggling with basic everyday living things. studying has pretty much come to a halt and i honestly dont know if i can keep doing it.

hi @Eden1919 I totally understand. I get to a point of struggling to get up & shower, have piles of clothes on the floor that seem to appear out of nowhere and piles of dishes in the sink that I can't remember dirtying, an empty fridge and no loo paper. It is very hard to keep up maintenaince of one's body and apartment with MI.

sorry to hear the studies have come to a bit of a halt. Would it be possible for you to apply for a deferrment or special considerations or go part time? You're such a talented person & going so amazingly with your study goals, it would be great if you could somehow keep your place open for when you're feeling better. I know dealing with student admin must seem just about impossible right now but something to consider to protect your future & what you've accomplished so far.

Hugs & sitting with.

@BryanaCamp I cant halt my studies or do part time. also i cant really deal with admin stuff at the moment it is too much. i dont even know what will happen. everything is too much at the moment i am just trying to survive but even that is proving extreemly difficult. i am safe i just feel like things are slipping faster and faster each day.

hi @Eden1919 I think you're being really brave, keep doing what you're doing. I'm glad you're safe. It is ok that you're not ready to deal with student admin atm, totally understand.

I can only imagine what you're going thru. I get being in a state of survival only. My hot water service busted a while ago and I was so mentally unwell I boiled water on the stove to bathe in for weeks becuase the task of dealing with plumbers & salespeople & having the acutal installation was just too much to bear.

Do you have any people in your life who are supportive?

Thanks for replying & I hope you will post here as much as you can, please know that you have friends here. How are you going with eating food and sleeping? I know both can be really difficult when I'm swamped with MI symptoms. Is the aggitation the same as when you started the thread or has it shifted?

@BryanaCamp thanks for your kind words. I have supportive people but they all live far away now. Food is a big problem and is really stressing me out. sleeping is also a huge problem I havent been going to bed until very late, the last 3 nights i havent been in bed before 6am. I am still very agitated i constantly want to scream and i have been freaking out over anything and everything i had to pull over twice today on my way to an appointment because google maps took me on a different route and i got lost and the road was really steep and my car nearly didnt make it up the hill and i just lost it and started crying and screaming in the car and had to pull over. that happened twice and then they changed the rules with vaccuming in my appartment so now i couldnt do that either and i was supposed to be studying because i have a test tomorrow and i have been crying and just even when i drop something i just burst into tears and start screaming and stuff. I cant take this much longer i really cant i am so tired but i cant sleep and my head wont stop and i really dont feel good and my psychologist just made things worse cause she kept pressuring me to think of a goal for the sessions but my only goal is to stay alive right now and she kept saying it needs to be more specific. like i cant right now the only thing i have the energy to focus on is trying to make it to my next breath. i am so so so tired and i just i cant take this i dont understand why everything is so hard all the time i need a break i cant keep doing this. i really dont know what to do anymore i just want to curl up and hide under a blanket and scream. i have to travel back home soon to and i am excited to see my pets and all that but the whole process is so stressful and i am so tired. i dont have time to stop and even if i did i cant get my head to stop i feel like i am going to explode.

Hi @Eden1919 gosh you're really doing it tough at the moment. You're being very brave & strong. Sleep deprivation on top of everything else would be very painful, you must be exhausted.

Try to eat something if you can.

I totally understand having to pull over. I was dreading an appoitnment with a psychotherapist one time, then it started raining and that was too much. I had to pull over into a side street and started screaming hysterically & uncontrollably. I ended up turning around and going back home as I couldn't face the appointment. It's good to pull over becuase it protects you from danger on the roads.

Good luck with your test, you're very bright so I'm sure you're good at doing them.

It's lovely that you have supportive people but that's really hard they are far away. I'm really glad you're going home soon & looking forward to seeing your pets. Though I can understand how getting there is a cause of stress.

Try to look after yourself as best you can today, let us know how your day goes if you feel up to it.

thinking of you today & sitting with