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Introducing self / last segrnent inviting commentary, sharing experiences, working together for solutions

SturgeonSenior Contributor11 Mar 2019, 7:08 pm AEDT

Introducing self / last segrnent inviting commentary, sharing experiences, working together for solutions

Sturgeon here, I have responded to a few in support - now I in need. In a way my intro could fit ' something not right'.

I'm almost 60 yet cannot break the ongoing vortex to hell that has me shackled since childhood. I've been through the vast array of human perversity & adversity + the ongoing consequences imposed upon me without turning out vindictive, bitter, harmful..

It's beyond PTSD - a new acronym (accepted by my Health Professionals) is OTEAD = Ongoing Traumatizing Experiences & Duress daily sucking my life energy, my abilities to cope with waking let alone waking alive - confronted by my environment, + the consequences of being me.

All the good stuff (attitude, effort, decency, friendliness, loyalty ..)

has a diagraphrapically opposite toxic response which truly leaves me blindsided & battered on all levels.

I'd love to be amidst frien.ds like me - instead I am an outcast, rejected, treated as irrelevant and/or invisible, a convenient cesspit or the cesspool - the source of all that's foul !

Though my self esteem & self worth relatively still intact _ being unable to create the safety, positive life and network / inclusion so needed does bring me to my knees & mess with my psyche.

Those who have contributed to / actively caused destruction most often walk away arrogantly, unscathed & with contempt yet we are stigmatized, burdened, tormented indefinitely & extensively our lives out of kilter.

This needs redressing for many, the system protects perpetrators more than the word / experience of the violated.

2 replies

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In response to: Introducing self / last segrnent inviting commentary, sharing experiences, working together for solutions

BunniekinsSenior Contributor11 Mar 2019, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Introducing self / last segrnent inviting commentary, sharing experiences, working together for solutions

@Sturgeon Hi Sturgeon I am so sorry that life has drawn you a rotten hand. It is terrible when people let you down and are cruel and insensitive. I have found that hardening my little pea heart has helped immensely in dealing with abuse caused by those who just do not understand me. Occasionaly however something has occurred which hurts and brings a tear to the eyes but that doesn't happen much any more so much damage has been done I am impervious to it these days.

I am really happy that you say that your 'self esteem and self worth are still intact' that is important. I find standing with my head held high is good for the soul, makes one feel a bit better even if I am crumbling inside.

' we are stigmatized, burdened, tormented indefinitely & extensively our lives out of kilter.' . I couldn't agree with you more however I am finding these days I am choosing how I see a situation. I refuse to lay down and die because of the situation I find myself in. Nothing is that important that it will destroy me. Particularly other people's view on me. I am too important for that and I don't say that in a egotistical or narsissistic way just that how people see you is not that important.

F*#k them! Who cares what they think about me. I really don't and neither (I hope you don't mind me saying)should you.

You are obviously a very intelligent and sensitive person by the way you have written your post. Those two things are very important attributes for someone to have. Be proud and stand tall and smile when people frown at you. They hate it! greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: Introducing self / last segrnent inviting commentary, sharing experiences, working together for solutions

SturgeonSenior Contributor11 Mar 2019, 9:53 pm AEDT

Re: Introducing self / last segrnent inviting commentary, sharing experiences, working together for solutions

Hi @Bunniekins & others who mentioned or responded to my intro - I succeeded doing so in response to someone else's article, I still don't figure my way with the tech process fully - just want to say thanks thus it's via your platform greenpea Sturgeon

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