Trigger Warning!!!! Psychosis in Schizoaffective, Schizophrenia, Bipolar1 etc

@Bunniekins hmm thats a hard one and certainly not talked about much in the way it should be i personally dont get violent to other people i do smash things sometimes like kicking balls at a wall or hitting a wall or slamming a door or kicking furniture stuff like that. i do get violent towards myself though often the kicking or hitting other things is directed at me not the things i am kicking. but mostly if anything it is directed at myself. i mean i have had voices tell me to harm people but i have told them strictly i will never ever do that ever and that they can get lost if they want it done and find someone else. so it is hard but dont feel alone sometimes these issues can turn people into monsters of rage but i find the only thing that does that to me is the agitation factor. and mostly that happes when i get taken to hospital much to my disagreement

@Bunniekins I wanted to reach out as I felt lots of compassion for you reading your latest posts.

I haven’t ever had psychosis so I cant identify with you in a me too way. I’ve known that rage at myself to hurt myself and it is horrid trying to ride through it. I often use medication to help ride it out because I often struggle with using strategies.

I know you’re not alone with the wanting to hurt others and yourself as I know others irl who experience this. From somebody who is on the outside looking in I think you and the people I know are so so brave and courageous for having the insight and following through with keeping yourself and others safe. I’m not dismissing the fact that it sucks to go through it and how unfair it would feel. I’m wondering if you thought about your psychosis like having a round of chemo if that would help. People that go through chemo know it’s going to be horrendous and many feel so sick and angry and sad until the course is finished. Many people know they’ll need it again as well. Maybe psychosis is a bit like the mental version of something like that. There is an end point of each episode but getting through is really hard and sucks going through it alone. I hope I haven’t minimised anything for you or made a really bad comparison. I really wanted to say I think you are awesome psychosis or not.....the pea will always be the pea 🌱 💜🤗

@Bunniekins

I have struggled a lot with my anger and watched others struggle with theirs ... yet in my early therapy sessions ... expression of anger was encouraged ...

It is to difficult to know how to do that without hurting people, especially the ones we love, who are closest and may be sadly in the way of collateral damage ...

I think these are important posts.

Oh yes @Bunniekins you are definitely not alone! I’m apparently hovering between psychosis and the real world at present actually (although this is coming from others who say I’m delusional). I don’t feel particularly different except for the intense worry I’m going to jail. My wife says it looks like I’m unwell because I’ve grossly changed my appearance in order to be unrecognisable. Usually when I’m psychotic I’m a danger to myself through self destructive thoughts or others (but I reiterate I’d never purposely harm anyone).

I currently have neither of those thoughts so I cannot be psychotic or delusional is my thinking. Apart from being freaked out about being recognised and thrown in jail, I am green so all systems are go.

@Eden1919 @Teej @Appleblossom @Queenie thank you for getting in touch with me 🙂 it is a comfort as I am experiencing some of of the above symptoms at the moment. I think my medications using an analogy are the roof of a unstable house keeping the contents, bricks and mortor etc stable.

Queenie when I am manic I dress haphasedly. It is either totally not caring so I end up totally mismatched with lots of layers regardless of weather or totally manicured (I think it is my way of holding things together). Hope you are feeling better my dear friend.

How we dress can reflect so much. @Bunniekins

I still dont always dress right for the weather, but hey I am in Melbourne so that is a genuine challenge!

It is good to have different levels of dress, for different occasions. I totally relax re garden clothes or stay at home wear, but I know things go haywire when I am manic.

Thinking of you gp.