Experiencing recurring nightmare once while awake. Panic attack?

Hi and welcome to Sane @thereaper 🖐

I'm so glad you found the courage and insight to write here. Experiencing panic as you have is extremely frightening; I know because I've been there, though mine was several episodes each day for nearly a year and only decreasing after learning effective response techniques and identifying triggers.

I too had insomnia for at least 25 yrs with intermittent nightmares where I'd wake up screaming "No!" while standing in the middle of my bedroom.

Hopefully, understanding the biology of panic will ease your mind, as it did for me. Our brains have a trigger mechanism called the 'Fight/Flight/Freeze Response' which has been necessary for survival of the species and is present in all animals. When functional, it helps us defend ourselves against the threat (or perceived threat) of death or physical attack.

The body releases high quantities of adrenaline and cortisol, causing a heightened sense of awareness and extra strength/stamina to fight, run away or accept death with as little pain as possible. (Dopamine helps to ease physical pain) That's why you see small animals become quiet and limp when caught by a predator. In humans this is seen as 'dissociation' which confuses our sense of right/wrong.

In modern man, fear responses to daily life have become more and more obvious due to childhood abuse, financial crisis, family upheaval and career/school/social pressures just to name a few.

Parents don't pass down this information because they're not aware of it, and tend to blame personality traits not knowing any better, adding to our suffering. So when we experience these effects, it's as scary as it gets. Trying to fix the problem can become obsessive which isn't healthy either. Approaching it as you would a phsycial illness is better on our sense of self.

With nightmares, the brain doesn't distinguish between real or imaginary due to emotions being so intense. So, the fight/flight response is triggered as it normally would during waking hours.

If feeling threatened occurs on a regular basis as it did in my childhood, the body continues to pump adrenaline/cortisol at high levels all the time, which causes overworked glands and affects the brain's natural responses. When I first experienced true 'calm', I thought I was dying because I'd never felt that way before. This isn't a personality problem ok; it's not your fault.

Using adrenaline laced beverages can trigger this physical response and exacerbate the 'high' marketers count on for sales, especially in people who're susceptible. It might be better to limit these drinks or stop completely.

Now in understanding this, it's also important to address the psychological aspects of panic. Reoccurring nightmares often indicate unexpressed and unconscious internal fears, especially in children. Regular visits with a psychologist might be better suited to exploring this aspect instead of a pschiatrist. (In my opinion of course)

I hope this has helped to alleviate some of your concerns Reaper. I log-in most days so if you respond or have queries, please tag me. (type @ and a drop-down menu appears. If the name you want isn't there, type a few letters and hopefully it will. Click the username and it appears in blue on the page and automatically sends a notification to alert that member)

Nice meeting you too btw. Please take care; I'll be keeping an eye out for you.

My best;

Hope (hug)

I’m posting again because I find this thread of “huge” interest to me personally.

As I said I’ve had very similar symptoms. My ex wife worked as a ER nurse and taken me to hospital where they drugged me up above the maximum recommended dose. They labeled me schizophrenic because I went through like you did 10 years ago. When I started to question the diagnosis I stopped the medications abruptly I experienced severe withdrawal symptoms that mirrored mood symptoms. They then said I had bipolar and depression then labeled me schizoaffective. I questioned them about this when I was in hospital.

After getting discharged I read all my hospital files 1300 pages and believe me it wasn’t fun. I never felt so disempowered so dehumanized. The files from the hospital system painted me as pretty much a complete “idiot” for questioning them.

I then did research and found a psychiatrist who criticizes The Whole profession of psychiatry. He said I had panic attacks in 2011 not schizophrenia.

It felt so real and I feel so confused what to believe.

so confused

Thank you so much @Hope4me for your very mindful and detailed response.

You truly are a warrior if you managed to cope with having frequently the same kind of experience that I have seldom.

As a kid I was very recluse and got bullied a few times in school. I also had a lot of separation anxiety in relation to my mother.

I will from now on be more mindful of my consume of such products that could trigger these episodes. I will also talk to a psychologist about these possible unresolved problems I had as a kid whenever I get the opportunity.

Take care and thank you so much once again. I wish you all the best!

Cordially,

Reaper

Thank you so much @prodius as well for sharing your experience.

I personally have a general mistrust towards psychiatrists. I think that there are certainly some good psychiatrists out there, but I've had a lot of setbacks in my life because of the low quality of treatment and preparation of professionals in this area. I lost one year in school because my psychiatrist simply hadn't listened when I was telling him I have severe insonmia and that I needed something that could make me sleep. He simply tried treating me as if I had bipolar disorder - I switched between 4 different mood stabilizers when I was 14-15 years old and none of them helped me with my sleeping problems. I failed one year in school because of not being able to attend class. After going to a neurologist, she prescribed me an effective sleeping medication and after that my attendance rate was 100% and I had not problems in school at all. It was a very dark period in my life, I had lost support from my family and from my friends. I truly felt it was only God and me, and if it wasn't for this faith, things could've gone much worse, perhaps I wouldn't even be here anymore to tell this. Now I graduated from University and hopefully will have a productive life. I even wonder if all this time I suffered only from anxiety and not a mood disorder. Maybe this is your case as well. Bipolar disorder sure is overdiagnosed, specially when it comes to those rapid-cycling bipolar 2 disorders. I've read dozens of psychiatric books, with a focus on bipolar disorder and even so I am still confused on this topic.

I wish you can get your diagnosis and treatment right, so that your suffering may be properly eased. My best regards,

heartfully,

Reaper

Hi again @thereaper and welcome to the discussion @prodius; it's great to see you both engaging on this very important topic.

Thanks Reaper for your lovely comments. I've worked very hard to be where I am, and yes, I consider myself a warrior woman. It takes courage and patience of the ages to combat these insidious symptoms and face internal demons. You and Prodious (🖐 thankyou for your acknowledgement) have what it takes, I'm sure.

Your last words Prodius were; 'I'm so confused'. It's no wonder! This goes for both of you I might add. Psychiatric labels can be a trap for unsuspecting lay-people to fall into when they're desperate to know what's happening to them. Symptoms like panic, anxiety, depression (not clinical depression) and chronic insomnia usually come under 'psychological disorders' like post traumatic stress disorder, (ptsd) whereas schitzoeffective disorder can be considered a 'psychiatric illness'.

When I had my breakdown, I experienced severe psychosis. Did this mean I suffered with schitzophrenia? No. I hadn't slept in days and was hallucinating from sleep deprivation...a symptom, not a label.

Psychiatrists focus on a diagnosis (label) and managing it with medication, not identifying causes. For me, once I was diagnosed and recommended medications, the rest was dealt with by my GP, psychologist and ME, the most important person in the equation. I had a medication review every 6 months with the psychiatrist and that was it. He was of no other use to me than this.

I'm sorry you felt so depleted after reading your notes Protious. Seeing ourselves through the eyes of others can be a downer. Just remember, they're clinical 'observers', not emotional connections. They can't see inside your heart. 😍

Taking control of your treatment and therapy is absolutely crucial for recovery and self empowerment. Your mental health professionals are just advisors. (IMO)

One night as usual, I got up not being able to sleep, and sat with my coffee in a daze. Thinking about something my psychologist said, it suddenly dawned on me how unsafe I felt in my own bed. (childhood sexual abuse and rapes as an adult) So there I was early hrs of the morning, pushing my bed against the wall and turning it to make sure I slept 'facing the bedroom door'. I slept without medication for the first time in 20 yrs and woke at lunch time.

How precious that memory is...

That's why psychologists are so important; their feedback can be a blessing in disguise if we allow ourselves to use it to our advantage.

Whew! I've really taken up space here today guys. Sorry for the long rant. I hope you get something out of my words though; that's important to me...passing it forward in the hope it helps others. 🤞

Warm thoughts;

Hope xo

What a Brilliant post hope4me! And the reaper!

Thank you so much for starting this thread. It’s given me so much more insight to what has been ten years of pain and confusion.

so glad there are others out there who have experienced the same. I’ve researched endless nights on this. And now I can feel more calm in myself.

Hey, thanks for the nice mention @prodius

I'm so glad you're enjoying the discussion and feeling more at ease with your situation.

I read what you said about an ER visit a couple of posts up and thought I'd describe what happened to me when I turned up at Emergency. Very different to yours...

I was driving back from the big smoke at night time, when suddenly the car and whole world it seemed, started shaking wildly like I was in an earthquake. I pulled the car over, white knuckled the steering wheel and waited for it to stop, but it didn't. I literally thought the world was ending!

After a moment, I put some m&m's on the dash to see if they'd rattle away; they didn't budge. I thought I was going crazy and being stuck out in the middle of nowhere, forced myself to drive to the nearest ER trying desperately to compose myself...at 40 km's an hr! When I arrived, (as a total basket case) they took my ob's and made me sit in the waiting room for 3 bloody hrs (!!) where I sobbed uncontrollably the whole time thinking I was dying.

Eventually the dr saw me and gave me an anti anxiety pill and one for the road, told me to see my GP then ushered me to the exit. I was shaking like a leaf, hysterical with fear, was in so much shock I couldn't even manage an audible sentence, had no idea what I was experiencing and he expected me to drive under the influence of this drug!? So I did...

I called my psychologist the next morning still unable to speak properly. She asked me lots of closed questions so I only needed to say yes or no, then said quite adamantly; "F***wit staff!! You could've been killed in an accident!"

She explained it was probably a massive panic attack and most importantly, wasn't life threatening. Talk about clueless; I knew nothing! I took a week off work to recover and seek help. My GP prescribed another anti anxiety medication and left me to my own devices. No explanation, psychiatrist or mental health plan, nothing.

That was in 2012.

Having to 'survive' negligent intervention from overworked doctors/nurses shouldn't be the norm, but unfortunately it can be. Even though our stories differ, it shows just how illequipped first responders and GP's can be for people experiencing a mental health crisis'.

That's why we need to be on the ball and educate ourselves.

Have a great day..

Cheers!

Hope

Hi guys, @Hope4me @prodius

I consider you both true friends. I'm very grateful that you are dedicating this much time to bring to each one of us more comfort. It is really nice as well that you both are being able to enjoy this thread and relate to my experience.

You went through considerable suffering. I pray to God that He may heal you guys and that you don't go through this again. Jesus is the doctor of doctors and only He can offer a definitive solution to our problems. You will be compensated for any suffering you've already gone through in this Earth.

I'll be logging in everyday and you can report any new experience or tell another story as you may please. I will be very glad! And if I can help you in any way, I am at your disposition.

With love,

Reaper

Hey @thereaper 🖐 and shout-out to @prodius 👍

Thankyou for your warm thoughts Reaper. I now realise how religion plays a role in your life; it didn't come across that way previously. I'm not actually a believer anymore, and probably aren't too spiritual either, but I'm fully supportive of your right to feel the way you do.

I'm wondering Prodius/Reaper, if your beliefs have had a baring on/with these night terrors.

I was a very religious child growing up which I feel may have set me up in a way due to the amount of fear and guilt associated with Catholicism. You know; right vs wrong, heaven and hell, good and bad...in general; the whole idea of sin to a little girl is frightening.

Self blame was a huge obstacle to overcome, especially when being female 'seemed' to be at the core of my trauma's. I understand how silly this is now, but growing up I took blame onto my shoulders as a matter of course because that's how my parents groomed me. (Obviously self blame isn't just a female problem, so please don't feel I'm suggesting that ok)

When my nightmares first began in the 90's, I dreamed about Jesus. He raised his hand towards me adorned with a ruby ring, which I kissed. I told my counsellor at that time and she screamed at the top of her lungs in my face; "It's the Devil; it's the Devil!" Wow! It takes all sorts eh?

Looking back all these years later, I know it represented my behaviour around men, who I chose to believe were all perfect 'Gods' instead of flawed humans, so I had to be at fault for all the wrong doings against me? Right or wrong, it's what I believed. A child's view on life stuck with me...

Beliefs of any kind can warp our sense of self which can appear in dreams generated by the subconscious trying to alert us to behaviours that might pose a risk to our well-being. Just like mine did. It's my understanding that dreams are harbingers of information we need to be aware of. It's just that the subconscious speaks in symbols/pictures that confuses us. Once we interpret that info, the dream goes away.

Anyway, just a little about what I've learned, my journey and how I became me.

Take care;

Hope xo