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Scared out of my mind !!

RazzleSenior Contributor20 Jan 2019, 1:16 pm AEDT

Scared out of my mind !!

On Friday while I was in town, I saw two of the members out of the group that assaulted me. One was in a car, the other I had to walk past to go into the supermarket. I was with my husband so didn’t outwardly react at the time because he doesn’t know the identities of the people who have abused me.

My husband and I are once again on shaky ground, and since that encounter I have been snappy and snarly, a right royal bitch but I can’t seem to reel myself in.

After that encounter it occured to me that when my nephew gets married in a couple of months time (to my best friends daughter) there is every chance that another member of the group may be at the wedding - he is a very good friend of my brother, but none of my family know of my past abuse - and I have never seen this person since the assault. I was 8 when the group assault happened, now 40 years ago.

I am terrified !! I am sitting here crying as I type, I feel cornered and my anxiety is off the charts.

I am not totally certain that this person is actually invited to the wedding, but I don’t see why he wouldn’t be, and I don’t know how to ask either my brother or best friend without drawing attention to him or myself, but I don’t want to turn up to the wedding and then just see him there.

I feel sick about the whole thing, it’s driving me crazy, I don’t know what to do.

3 replies

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In response to: Scared out of my mind !!

sherpa09Senior Contributor20 Jan 2019, 1:48 pm AEDT

Re: Scared out of my mind !!

Hi Razzle,

It's Sherpa09 here, (one of the moderators on the forum). It sounds as though that you're going through a really difficult time at the moment, where we want you to know that we're here for your support. Please let us know how we can best support you on the forum and we'll do our utmost to assist you through this difficult time. I've sent you a private email as well, so others can see your being notified about your current situation. If you would like further professional support, you can contact lifeline on 13 11 14 to help unpack what might be going on for you right now.

Sherpa09.

In response to: Scared out of my mind !!

outlanderSenior Contributor20 Jan 2019, 10:29 pm AEDT

Re: Scared out of my mind !!

Hugs @Razzle what a tough thing to have to navigate. My thoughts are with you

In response to: Re: Scared out of my mind !!

RazzleSenior Contributor21 Jan 2019, 3:26 pm AEDT

Re: Scared out of my mind !!

Thanks @outlander and @sherpa09

I stressed myself out so much I actually made myself sick. I’m now recovering from a 2 day migraine, still very panicked and not sure how to handle all this.

Ive made an appointment with my councillor for next week, I hope he can give me some strategies to help. I wasn’t so snarly with my husband yesterday, too sick for that. I think he suspects something is up but I can’t talk to him about it.

I feel so horrible at the moment, I can’t find any relief from the anxiety, even when I’m doped up on pain meds, and coming out of a migraine just makes me feel worse.

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