Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Just want to cry

RazzleSenior Contributor16 Jan 2019, 12:04 pm AEDT

Just want to cry

Today we start packing up to head home early tomorrow morning after a 3 week holiday. Which has turned out to be the holiday from hell.

I got my cast cut off a day or 2 after I got here, only to have some rediculous swelling and pain and find out that I now have a blood clot.

My mum had a fall a week ago and broke her thumb so I’ve had a few days running around with different appointments for her. Her short term memory is pretty much toast and she is getting very frustrated with it, she gets very angry sometimes and I’ve warn the brunt of that lately.

My brother and his wife have gone off and done things they’ve wanted to do all holidays, and my husband has done the same thing leaving me to look after mum a lot of the time.

I’m exhausted. My husband woke me at 4.30am and wanted to have a heart to heart. I’ve pretty much given up on my one sided marriage years ago. The past 18 months I’ve pretty much reflected the way my husbands been treating me back onto him. He hasn’t really cared about me for a long time, so I stopped caring about him. Now he tells me he feels lonely - pretty much how I’ve felt for years, but because it’s now happening to him he’s not enjoying it much. Yeah, well welcome to my world.

Ive slipped away to a shopping centre walking around aisles not really even looking at stuff, I just want to be on my own for a while. I’m doing everything I can to not just burst into tears. If I start crying now I’m never going to stop. I haven’t slept well since I got here, I feel like I have been run ragged looking after everyone else and jumping to their commands, and I am about ready to explode.

I must look a total idiot standing here trying not to cry. I feel so exhausted, sad and frustrated right now I don’t know what to do with myself. I kind of wish I had packed up and headed home weeks ago.

5 replies

1 - 5 of 5

In response to: Just want to cry

TeejSenior Contributor16 Jan 2019, 1:41 pm AEDT

Re: Just want to cry

Hey @Razzle. So sorry to hear things are pretty crappy at the moment. I haven’t got much to say except I read your post and felt empathy. Hang in there, it sounds pretty tough and hard so be gentle on yourself. 💜

In response to: Just want to cry

Sans911Senior Contributor17 Jan 2019, 12:54 am AEDT

Re: Just want to cry

Hearing you too @Razzle. Sounds like things are pretty overwhelming right now and you've reached the end of your tether. Everyone is looking after themselves and you must feel invisible and worthless. That's a hard place to be.

In response to: Just want to cry

BlueBaySenior Contributor17 Jan 2019, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: Just want to cry

I’m sorry @Razzle you are going through a tough time. It’s hard when you have to do everything especially when you’re not well. I feel for you.

So hubby is lonely, now he knows how you feel.

I hope by now you’re ok. It’s hard when you want to cry but hold it in.

Thinking of you @Razzle ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Just want to cry

RazzleSenior Contributor18 Jan 2019, 10:07 am AEDT

Re: Just want to cry

Thanks @BlueBay @Sans911 @Teej

Im home now. Unpacked the caravan yesterday, it’s all sitting just inside the back door. Had a nap yesterday afternoon - it was desperately needed. I’m just glad I’m home I’ve got a lot to do cleaning up wise, but I have some appointments in town this morning so everything is going to have to wait until this afternoon.

Still feeling a little over whelmed and tired, hopefully I’ll feel better when I get back into a routine.

In response to: Re: Just want to cry

RazzleSenior Contributor18 Jan 2019, 5:35 pm AEDT

Re: Just want to cry

Finally got home from town. Dr is away but he has a locum, he is very thorough.

He types up my whole holiday A&E saga and then gave me the referral for an US on Monday. I went back out to reception and then he called me back in.

He asked why I was only on Aspirin, I explained that I was low risk - don’t smoke, no birth control, not on HRT. He said aspirin is ok if the clot was in the vein, but it’s in the Artery. He advised I needed something stronger and then explained how a clot works in the body. So now I’m taking a stronger anti coagulant - and feeling a whole lot safer!!

Got home a short while ago, and while I’m doing 3 loads of washing, plus cleaning everything up and putting everything away - husband has gone for a nap. So f**king angry right now. My son is home and he put the dishes in the dish washer and started it and then washed the dishes that didn’t fit. At

least he’s helping me.

Still just want to cry, at least my son is pitching in. Well, my husband wants me to help him mark lambs tomorrow morning, damn shame because I feel a sleep in coming on

1 - 5 of 5