Misdiagnosis and how it affected my life

Im writing this post and I don't mean to trigger anyone but to give a indication of where I am at mentally I have to put down some of the events that have occurred in my life in the last few years.

About 4 years ago I started going through a really difficult time as 3 major events occurred in quick succession . My mum had a heart attack and almost died, my relationship of 12 years broke down and then my grandfather died .

I didn't know it at the time but I failed to have the mental resources to cope with what was happening and I had a type of breakdown , it felt like something in my brain cracked . I was a mess and my children suffered for it. I went from keeping a nice home to hoarding, I went from enjoying taking my kids out and about to keeping us at home all the time. I changed from a loving, consistent and sensitive mother into a emotionally distant, haphazard parody of myself. My children suffered because I was unable to cope with how I was feeling.

Things came to a head when I got really sick with a kidney infection that became sepsis and I ended up in hospital. A worker from the school was brought into help care for my children while I was in hospital for 6 days. The condition of my home was a disgrace and child services was called in. So less then a week after I got out of hospital I had welfare arrive at my home to speak to me about the situation. During the interview I was accused of 2 things that I knew were definitely not true, firstly that I was an alcoholic ( I don't drink at all) and that I was violent with my children when I was supposedly drunk! As I have never been an alcoholic and Ive never been in any way shape or form violent with my children I was horrified and I let the workers know in no uncertain terms that they were wrong. This was my biggest mistake because less then a week later I had one of the workers show up with the police and after being told that my 5 year old daughter had been removed from school they were there to collect my 3 year old daughter. At that moment it was like all the oxygen had been sucked out of my lungs and all the colours in the world were suddenly dimmed. I disassociated from myself in that moment and went on autopilot. I went and got my daughter and told her she was going to go for a sleepover with her big sister and it was going to be fun and that her sister would look after her and I would see her soon and that I love her very much and then I put her hand in the workers hand and she was so excited. I didn't want her to be afraid ( because I had experienced this type of event myself as a child and I'd been terrified and I didn't want her to be afraid ). I was told that I would have a chance to put a case forward with a judge the next day at 10am and I should get a lawyer by then (it was 2:30 in the afternoon ) I held myself together until everyone was gone and then I started screaming . The pain was so intense I lost myself for hours .