Sharona1Contributor
Not feeling good
My son has complex mental health issues. He does not accept he has mental illness as such. He sees it as a symptom of something else and that something else changes. He follows strict diets etc because hair tests and online people say he has massively high copper. He sometimes thinks he has bad entities. He believes he has complex medical conditions that no tests ever support. He totally obsesses and talks of nothing else, when he does speak. Not exaggerating. He has been in his room since sometime yesterday and its now 2:30. He hardly eats. He is very angry and shows no empathy at all for others. He cannot handle light or sound. He wanted me to cut his hair and threatened me with his own limitless self destruction and a few days later suicide if I dont cut his hair. It's too complex to explsin in a post. There's so much more. This has been going on for a long time in one way or another. He refuses to see psychologists etc. I can barely communicate with him about anything real generally as I'm.too scared of the con- sequences. There is only me. Thst was a preface to saying...and I'm not doing well. I feel so overwhelmed with not being able to do or change anything, not being able to express anything, feeling and being abandoned by any medical help. Nit knowing where to turn. I feel Ive left it almost too late gor myself. I can't explsin how I feel but when I saw he had chopoed into the bench I felt scarily out of control. I feel like I am carrying so much...my own health and a stressful job as well, plus constant cleaning trying to keep dome semblance of humanity where we live as he doesnt care...and feelings of resentment and congusion towards whst on earth I am supposed to do...I just feel like I am a bomb ready to explode or implode. It will be one single tiny thing and I will break never to return.
