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Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

SqrlGrlCasual Contributor

Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

I'm really hoping someone can give me some advice...

My husband and I have had to move in with my elderly parents for financial reasons and can't move out until we have secure employment.

I had a difficult childhood filled with emotional and sometimes physical abuse and things have picked up where they left off emotionally.

The gaslighting is constant and the only thing keeping me Sane is that I now have a witness to it.

Today my family staged an intervention telling me my husband is abusive and will start hitting me.

This is genuinely not the case, we've been together a very long time and he's been nothing but supportive.

How do I even cope with this? I can't set boundaries with them as I have no leverage. I can't walk away. We are new to the country so have no friends to stay with.

I want to protect him from them and myself but my depression and anxiety are spiralling and I just want to stay in bed and cry.

What should I do?

6 replies

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In response to: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

@SqrlGrl Hi SqrlGrl and welcome to the forums :). To be honest I am of little help in this department so I might ask @Former-Member if she knows of any agencies which would be of support. I am thinking of temporary housing agencies.

Unfortunately we cannot choose our families and sometimes we are thrust together against our will.... personally I would take this opportunity (of living with them) to get out looking for work. I know this is hard when you are feeling so low but the sooner you get a job the sooner you can find your own accomodation.

I wish you well in your endeavours. greenpea xx

In response to: Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

Unknown userMember

Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

What state are you in @SqrlGrl

In response to: Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

SqrlGrlCasual Contributor

Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

Thank you @Bunniekins - I've got a job lined up for the end of January so there's light at the end of the tunnel. It's pretty damn hard to remember that tho!

In response to: Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

SqrlGrlCasual Contributor

Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

@Former-Member I'm in QLD... I have had a look at shelters and things but can't find anything.

It's really hard being strong for my husband as he's battling suicidal thoughts, whilst smiling and nodding at things that you shouldn't have to smile and nod at, and dealing with my own mental health.

Setting boundaries with no leverage is nigh on impossible. 😢

In response to: Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

Unknown userMember

Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

Hi @SqrlGrl

These are 3 services that I found in relation to housing.

https://www.health.qld.gov.au/clinical-practice/guidelines-procedures/clinical-staff/mental-health/resources/housing-support

https://www.clayfieldhouse.com.au

https://www.lwb.org.au/find-a-service/mental-health-and-housing-support/

As I am a caregiver I usually recommend the carer gateway as a starting point

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/mental-health-services

There are groups like Wellways that offer both patient and carer support who may be able to help too

https://www.wellways.org

In response to: Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

SqrlGrlCasual Contributor

Re: Gaslighting and Depression- how to keep it together?

@Former-Member thank you so much I will look into these 🙂

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