christmas Graces

Hey there @Neo thank you for posting, it sounds like you're feeling super heavy. There have been a lot of changes since your diagnosis I'd imagine. We're here to listen

Hi @Neo

Its a hard one for me too.

Mother's anniversary mixed up with all the communal hope and frenzy.

Dont give up.

Hey @Neo I stay away from social media during Christmas (I deactivate my account) because it is all too hard seeing all those families spending quality time together. I am not even invited to family outings and get-togethers anymore because of my MI (which is also schizoaffective disorder). I am so far estranged from them that I wouldn't know what to say if I ever ran into them somewhere. I've seen them out shopping and they happy smiling faces, makes me sad I am not included because of the stigma surrounding my illness. I did not even know about the existence of my nephew or his name until he was seven years old. Makes me want to shed tears sometimes (and I do) but it will never change. My Dad who is the only family member I speak with now (and only for about 2 minutes every two months) breaks my heart when he says if I come to his house he will have me arrested for trespassing. There is no love or support from them at all.

Hey @Neo another schizo here. I just spend Chrissy with the kidsl. Very low key as no one would have my dysfunctional children over at Christmas. Sad but true .... my mother effectively said as much.... I will be online over the Crhistmas period and I know others will be too. You will not be alone. xxx

Holley Dooley l thought l was reading my own experience...

l hope you have your very own little Christmas moment....

l just keep saying to myself that l have food a home and three hungry pets ( Husky and two ginger cats) that give me company....l was married 34 yrs and got run over by a 2.5 Road Roller twice... 2 was later l woke up hearing stuff....end of my life...

Hey @Neo welcome to the forum. I have some sad memories haunting me at this time of year too. I am also saying goodbye to one of my beautiful dogs today so I'm teary as I write. Pets are so precious. I'm happy for you having your crew. How do your dog and cats get on? My son is desparate for a cat but I'm a bit nervous how my Lab would go with it. My MI is Bipolar 1 plus heavy duty anxiety. My mood goes feral this time of year and it takes all my effort to stay sort of on an even keel. I hope you find acceptance and hope here. I have - it's a retreat for me where I can be myself without judgement.

You may already know this, but it took me a while: if you want to tag someone in a post, use @ then their name. Great choice of name btw. Also, the little bell in the top right hand corner is where you find notifications if someone supports your post, or comments on it, or comments on a thread you've been involved in.

Gday @frog

thanks for your support....