Finding it hard to cope

Sorry if this is jumbled as I’m writing this in the middle of all the commotion.

My long term partner has schizophrenia, has since he was a young teen, meaning already was diagnosed before we got together.

During the 1st year of our relationship he suffered a big psychotic episode which resulted in us taking some time apart for a month or two. Very painful time for me, one of the hardest thing I’ve been through.

We have since been together, but recently he has been going backwards (which I know relapse is normal after recovery) but each week is getting slowly worse and worse with social skills, hallucinations/delusions. Luckily he can still notice that something is quite right and we are trying to act quickly on it before he have a mental break down.

This is causing me a lot of stress and painful emotions. Having no one to turn to with these feelings (I’d usually turn to him but he is slowly declining to the point where he doesn’t understand why I feel this way).

His family is not supportive of both him or me, so that’s not an option to reach out to.

Im not sure what I’m expecting from this post. Maybe just a vent but I’m wondering is anyone else’s husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is going through the same thing... how do you cope with the pain & changes?

thanks in advance