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Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

HeadcaseContributor02 Dec 2018, 8:39 am AEDT

Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

Hello all , I have found this forum as I am very embarrassed about what I’m about to speak about so wanted to be anonymous . I’m a grown adult and I’m so disappointed about myself . I have suffered health anxiety for 7 years now , most things worry me and die to this I do not take drugs or put myself in “ risky “ situations. a month ago now I let my guard down and was a complete sheep when I was out and joined in at a party and snorted drugs . an hour or so into the “ session “ I realised it wasn’t me and I stopped with instant regret . I snorted with maybe four friends with a shared rolled up bank note . I will never do it again however since this I haven’t been able to focus on anything else . I have read I think every single medical website about the transmission of hiv and hep c . Most say hep c is definite and hiv is low or non existent . I am not sleeping properly and have been in tears numerous times . I am too embarrassed to go to my local gp as he birthed my children and I feel so so so silly already let alone to deal with the judgement that will come . Anyways it got so bad that I rang a local hepatitis help line the other day . The professional on the other line said hiv is not a worry at all ( I can’t understand this ) and that the hep c risk is so so low that he wouldn’t even advise a test .

he said for piece of mind I could test in 2 more months but he wouldnt worry and he thinks I’m completely fine ?

now my question is why would ALL medical websites state different and why would a professional advise not to really test if he thinks I had a real risk ? I am very confused and cannot get this feeling of doom out of my head . I’ve learnt a big lesson so please no judgement but if anyone can understand how I’m feeling and talk with me I would be greatly appreciated 😞

5 replies

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In response to: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

TwerpSenior Contributor02 Dec 2018, 12:15 pm AEDT

Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

Hi Headcase,
I'm glad you reached out here.
We have all done things we are soon after ashamed of and wish we could undo. Please don't feel like we are judging you- I relate so much to your worry and regret now. I guarantee you are not alone and I'm no better than you.
If it were me I'd make an appointment at a GP clinic I never usually go to and I'd get a test done there if you are at all worried still. I wouldn't ignore your gut feelings but I'd also get the results to help you know with what you are dealing with or not dealing with now. If you're ashamed to go to your GP who has known you so long, I'd see someone else in another clinic who you've never seen before and will never have to see again.
Hoping you find out good news and can use this as a reminder of why you have chosen not to do drugs before.
You might want to think about if there were any other factors other than just following along which led you to trying the drugs. Sometimes people follow along more easily with things like this if they've been feeling depressed for some time. If that doesn't fit with you then that's good. If it does then I'd maybe ask for a referral from your GP to talk with a psychologist about it. You don't have to tell your GP about the drug taking at the party. You can say something like you just want to explore what is going on with your moods or anxiety or whatever you what to say, with a psychologist. If this doesn't feel like it fits then that's just one more thing you don't have to worry about.
I'd love to know how you go, if you want to keep us up with it. I care and hope things resolve themselves well. Be gentle on you. And if your gut feeling is saying you want to get something checked out, then get it checked out- your gut feelings are wise and useful.
Love from Twerp.

In response to: Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

ethSenior Contributor02 Dec 2018, 3:42 pm AEDT

Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

Hi @Headcase sorry to hear what you're going through. Welcome to the forums, it's good that you found us. I 'self-medicated' with herb for many years and don't judge you at all. I've been there with other drugs occasionally over the years. The last time I was tested for Hep I was told to have the test done again after several weeks as Hep can take that long to show up on a blood test. This may explain the advice you were given (but I'm not a Dr). If I were you I'd see a different GP and be upfront about wanting the tests. It's embarassing but it's worth it for the sake of your peace of mind and health. Hope you can put your mind at rest soon.

In response to: Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Dec 2018, 6:23 pm AEDT

Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

@Headcase I think it was that the delivery method has lower chance of infection, and yes will take a little time to show up in bloods.

I have had both Hep B and C and almost fully cleared the viral load. Which is apparently amazing. I have been treated abominably by some Gps because the blood markers were there, even though it was due to actions in my teens and a long way where I am from now. I am no longer ashamed, and believe me I took the responsible tell everyone and protect others path .... I am NOW outraged that I was made to endure far more unnecessary suffering and treated like dirt and it effected my overall physical treatment for decades.

It happens, but you are probably over reacting.

In response to: Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

HeadcaseContributor03 Dec 2018, 12:29 pm AEDT

Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

Thankyou so much for your kind response , it really means a lot to not be judged by my actions.

i think I will go for a test when the window period is up but at the same time I’m so scared of needing to wait that I wish I could just be reassured that my once off mistake isn’t going to affect my life .

i am literally anxious all day every day and I don’t know If I can wait another month at least for results . Some websites say 12 weeks others say 6 .

I will certainly let you know how I went and thanks again for reaching out

In response to: Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

HeadcaseContributor03 Dec 2018, 12:32 pm AEDT

Re: Silly decision with drugs now going crazy . Please help :(

This makes me feel a little better , the professional in the help line did say Even If I had contracted anything their would be a chance of clearing the virus anyways .

i am just so nervous and wish I could put it out my mind without testing .

im sure their would be an epidemic with the amount of people snorting drugs but with my health anxiety I fear the worst and have myself convinced it would be my luck to have been that person to catch something .

thankyou for reaching out and telling your story . I’m glad I joined

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