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Cinderella58Casual Contributor27 Nov 2018, 8:39 am AEDT

New to Forum

I am a 24/7 live in career for my mother. Mother is 88 and has alchohol issues, she also takes me terribly fo granted and is unbelievably unappreciative. Mother was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2008.

My older sister takes Mother to a GP (she has him in her pocket, the sister) and a witch Dr. Older sister abuses her POA (financial and medical). Sister is trying to move properties into her own name. I have had one day off since 01 October 2016. I cook, clean up massive colitis accidents help her do every little thing. Because Mother hates everyone it is difficult to get a break. Mother starts screaming like she is being hurt if something is not going her way. I had an incrediably full amazing life in 2015, I am really struggling. My sister is a psychopath. I worry for my safety because the sister colluded with my poor Mother. Thanks Cinderella58

3 replies

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In response to: New to Forum

Unknown userMember27 Nov 2018, 5:09 pm AEDT

Re: New to Forum

Hey there @Cinderella58,

Firstly thank you so much for sharing your experience, I really appreciate the raw honesty about your relationship with your mother and sister and I do not doubt our forums will provide you a safe outlet to feel heard.

This sounds like it is taking its emotional toll; one day off since 2016 - absolutely no wonder you're feeling these emotions. You're doing the work of a professional here, so huge kudos to you that takes an immense amount of strength and spirit. Do you have your own therapist that you see? This could be really beneficial for you in not only feeling heard but also in working towards some strategies to change this situation.

There's also a list of organisations for carers here, a lot of these services are super specialised in dealing with situations like this, and can probably also help you with the issues around your sister and the triangulation she's engaged with your mother and you.

You mentioned in 2015 you had an amazing life, what was the big shift away from this?

Also keen to invite you into this thread here, feel free to engage with the crew. Also across the carer's section of the forums I do not doubt you will find stories and journey's that reflect your own Please know you are not alone in this.

In response to: Re: New to Forum

Cinderella58Casual Contributor27 Nov 2018, 11:08 pm AEDT

L plates with this forum posting business

Nashy Wow thank you so much for reading my post. In 2015 and prior I worked in resort management mostly in the Snowy Mountains. I was able to wake up to normal every day, beauty everyday, for the most part there was no intimidation bullying, or a controlling micromanager as I am struggling with now.
The sister does not know what blood pressure numbers should be, what hypertension or hypotension is, how to clean and dress a skin tear or an ulcer. The sister has been very good however at manipulating my Mother into believing I am a liar and a their. I had an extremely bad night tonight.

As I have to buy all my own food and everything else, I am so poor it hurts. I am in a terrible situation.

Thanks again for your support. I am attempting to get some help at the moment.
I know we all determined our own destiny.

Warmest
Cinderella58

In response to: L plates with this forum posting business

Unknown userMember28 Nov 2018, 7:29 am AEDT

Re: L plates with this forum posting business

Hi @Cinderella58

I am not overly familiar with aged care matters but Carers Australia should be able to give you some help.

You can go to Guardianship Board in relation to care and financial matters. If a public guardian is appointed they would hold the purse strings and finances would have to be accounted for.

If you go down this path be aware the public guardian would check in on you and how you are looking after Mum and it can be a bit daunting esp if your sister were to fabricate things about you. On the other hand, if they are appointed, proper respite could be arranged.

Darcy

PS when doing any application, keeping things factual is important. ie details about funds provided for care giving, food, utilities, respite etc.

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