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I am so lonely and can’t cope

Poppy7Casual Contributor17 Nov 2018, 11:37 pm AEDT

I am so lonely and can’t cope

Hi all,

This is my first time posting. I usually sit on the side lines and don’t ask for help and pretend it’s all ok but when I’m alone I can’t handle the loneliness I feel.

I have depression and anxiety as a result of traumatic circumstances and stress that I’ve been under since 17. Now 26. I am a single mum, work full time plus do casual support work on the weekend to make ends meet. When I’m busy and distracted I’m happy and “ok”. When I’m alone at night and my 7 year old is asleep I find I can’t cope . I think very negatively and have no one I can talk to. I get quite snappy and irritable at family and this pushes them away.

im so lost and I hate feeling this way and this pain . I want it gone I just would like someone to talk to someone who is in a similar situation so I don’t feel so alone . It would be amazing

5 replies

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In response to: I am so lonely and can’t cope

ScarecroweSenior Contributor18 Nov 2018, 2:19 am AEDT

Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Hi @Poppy7. I am so glad you decided not to sit on the sidelines and explained what is going on in your life. I can assure you that you are not alone in having these feelings that you are experiencing.

I am sorry to hear that you had a traumatic experience which led to these feelings. I have a 15 year old neice who contracted anorexia because of PTS from her experiencing continued traumatic situations in her early childhood.

And when you are alone with nothing to distract your mind that is when you start thinking about things and start feeling worse about it all.

I also get snappy due to lack of sleep and being sick of feeling like I do, wanting it all just to go away and start feeling 'normal'. Things that normally excite me or I enjoy doing or watching don't do it for me anymore. But you have to put on that 'brave' face and pretend all is well to the public. I work in retail and sometimes it is very hard to keep it together, especially when people are complaning about the most tiniest of problems, that usually can be fixed just like that. I want to scream at them sometimes and say there are more important problems that people are dealing with everyday that cannot be fixed so easily. I also have trouble leaving the house and usually I am in tears before I leave for work and when I get home from work I also burst into tears from all the pressure I have had to deal with and also because I am so mentally fatigued from the day.

You are a very dedicated mum working full time and also on the weekends. I felt that straight away reading your post. Your child is lucky to have a mum like that. It cannot be easy being a single parent, working the hours you do and dealing with your feelings.

I do not have a 'fix' for you sadly, otherwise I would have fixed myself years ago. I am 48 years old and have been like this since mid high school. I have no children, never married. I knew that there was no way I could be the way I am and have other people relying on me 24/7. Way too much pressue for me. So because of that I admire you being a parent. My sister is a single mum of 3 children and I know that it is not easy for her, especially now her two elder daughters are both teenagers!!!!

Please know that you are not alone at all. And that expressing your feelings at anytime on this forum for any reason helps in dealing with things.

We are all here to listen and offer any help that we can and get things off our chests when things get bad.

In response to: I am so lonely and can’t cope

CheerBearSenior Contributor18 Nov 2018, 5:21 am AEDT

Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Hi @Poppy7 and welcome to the forum.

I agree with @scarcrowe in that it sounds like youre a pretty dedicated mum working as you do and raising a family.

Like you, I am a single mum and find it is often during the times I am alone and not busy with the kids that things creep up on me. Worry, negative thoughts, sadness etc. can all hit and be difficult to shake, especially when there is no one to talk with or no-one I want to talk with. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you find help with distracting from it all? I enjoy making things and often sit with something crafty. I also sometimes wander through the never ending tunnel of interesting/strange/funny things YouTube offers.

Also like you I can be snappy too, mostly when I feel stressed, which is pretty often. Sometimes I shut down so I don't snap at people but that leaves me feeling very alone and on my own with things. It can all be a bit of a vicious cycle sometimes.

This is a great place to be if you're feeling lonely. There are heaps of people here who live with anxiety and depression and who have experienced traumatic events and circumstances. Lots of people find loneliness a difficult one to get through, but being here and knowing we aren't alone with the way we are feeling and the things we are going through, can help.

I hope you find it helpful to be here.

In response to: Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Poppy7Casual Contributor18 Nov 2018, 2:25 pm AEDT

Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Thank you for sharing your experiences I really appreciate hearing it and not feeling like I’m the only one feeling this way . It sure does suck when the pain just won’t go away . Thank you for your support truely appreciated 💖

In response to: Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Poppy7Casual Contributor18 Nov 2018, 2:30 pm AEDT

Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Thank you for your support and understanding 💖 it’s hard being a single mum as we have to do it alll and never get a break. It gets exhausting. That is a great idea I quite like painting maybe I can explore this some more . I will look into other hobbies I can do st night when lonely maybe join a group of people with similar interests 🙂 I too go onto YouTube videos and find funny ones to cheer myself up haha

In response to: I am so lonely and can’t cope

AJP8New Contributor22 Jan 2022, 7:03 pm AEDT

Re: I am so lonely and can’t cope

Hi Poppy,

My situation is extremely similar to yours except I don't have any children. I am 27 years old and have had reoccurring traumatic events happen to me, the most recent last year an extremely bad car accident.

I've lost alot of friends the past few years due to alot of change and loosing myself trying to get back with my ex, who had a 2 year old son I saw as my own.

You really aren't alone in feeling this way, I feel tremendous amounts of sadness and pain and I don't have anybody I can talk to or plan thing's with. I worry about what my future will be like without that. This causes me to be snappy and irritable at my family.

Sounds lime you're doing an amazing job 👏

Ally

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