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What more?

ElliLouCasual Contributor08 Sept 2014, 12:38 pm AEST

What more?

My 17 year old daughter has been in and out of a psych inpatient unit for adolescents for the last 2 years 6 months. It started with self harm and EDNOS. Then major childhood depression. Then the psychiatrist telling us she was making it up. My husband then left me so it was then due to that. She has been diagnosed with Aspergers, OCD, social anxiety disorder, and her meds now include something that is only really used for schizophrenia or bipolar but they haven't labelled her with either as far as I know.

She is now only at school 3 days a week for a couple of hours a day, has left her job and doesn't associate with any of her old friends. When she is home she stays in her room only coming out to eat and toilet. She will only shower twice a week if I am lucky.

She will not see any health professionals not even her gp that she has had since birth so I am really struggling to get and keep her on track.

What groups are there for teens in south east Melbourne that she may attend? I am hoping that there is some sort of activity group rather than just a self help type group as I doubt she would attend.

My ex is now trying to tell people I have Munchausens by proxy and that she is completely "normal". I hate that word as I believe that this is her normal just as if she had diabetes taking her insulin would be "normal"

6 replies

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In response to: What more?

Alessandra1992Senior Contributor08 Sept 2014, 8:49 pm AEST

Re: What more?

I think it is really important to emphasise what is, rather than what isn't.
Your daughter is still attending school, that is a huge positive! Given her recent experiences, many young people would have refused to keep going.
Sometimes it is really difficult to encourage the people we love to participate or engage with "help" as would you want to have a diagnosis? I wouldn't!
Maybe you could contact headspace or e-headspace. Pop into your local community mental health centre and ask about youth outreach brochures.
Have you spoken to her school? Often, young people may not want to talk to mum or dad either about what is happening, they don't want to worry you either.
Maybe her school knows who she works well with, that trusted other adult like the school year level co-ordinator or nurse or social worker may be the person best placed to encourage your daughter to explore help.
There are some excellent online supports and apps available, and your daughter may already be using some..

Be patient with her, and be patient with yourself and your ex..it's a difficult time you are going through.

Your daughter must be working with someone, and if she is taking medication, the it will most likely be. A psychiatrist. If she is co-operating with trying to take her meds then again, that is really important to acknowledge her efforts. Some meds have quite an impact on your energy levels and your thinking processes.
If your daughter agrees with the Apsbergers diagnosis, then there are a few excellent psychologists that specialise in Aspnergers including Dr Richard Eisenmajer, consults in Kew..or Dr. Janine Manjiviona. These are both private practioners but are highly regarded. There are also many other specialists available but these two, especially Dr Richard run seminars and written books on Asperbergers.

Dr Janine Manjiviona, Clinical Psychologist
Janine’s research has been published internationally and currently she is involved with several research projects with colleagues from Deakin University including: sex differences in how male and females with ASD present; and, the female profile of ASD.

There is also a peak body that might be able to help you find the right person for your daughter, and even if she doesn't engage, if you read up more about it you may be able to support her better and improve your relationship with her..

Try looking at www.amaze.org.au, they provide seminars and info sessions for parents and Carers...

Also, in case there are other issues and you feel like some support from peers might be useful for you, check out. Grow. Better Together, MIF's Wellways and. Carers Victoria.

If you feel supported then you won't be overwhelmed by the worry you have for your daughter.

Hope this info helps and keep on being a loving parent😄

In response to: What more?

JTSenior Contributor09 Sept 2014, 8:18 am AEST

Re: What more?

Hi ElliLou.

Contact Amaze and find out about support services for both of you. I don't know precisely what they run but when it comes to Aspergers groups tend to focus more on social activities in supportive settings than traditional self help groups. There's also some great books specifically on girls these days.

Aspergers and Girls and Aspergirls are 2 good ones. Rudy Simone and Tony Atwood are just 2 people who have written a lot.

Sorry just realised the time - need to get dressed for work!!!!!!

In response to: Re: What more?

NikNikSenior Contributor09 Sept 2014, 1:17 pm AEST

Re: What more?

Hi Alessandra,

Your link doesn't seem to be working. I think it's because there's a comma at the end.
For anyone wanting to check out the website Alessandra kindly recommended above, you can go to http://www.amaze.org.au/

Thanks 🙂

Nik

In response to: What more?

HobbitSenior Contributor11 Sept 2014, 6:43 pm AEST

Re: What more?

Hi ElliLou,

I thought I would send a quick post to see how you are going. Did you manage to make contact with Amaze or any of the other contacts that Alessandra and JT gace you?

Let us all know how you are.

Hobbit.

In response to: What more?

Sophie44Contributor04 Jan 2015, 9:29 pm AEDT

Re: What more?

"My ex is now trying to tell people I have Munchausens by proxy and that she is completely "normal""

Oh my god, are you me? I can't believe I am reading that line. My ex, my daughter's father, has said exactly the same thing about me. How weird to read it here too.

I look at him with HIS personality disorder and think, "Hang on, which parent does she most resemble here?" Clue - it's not me.

"Munchausens by proxy"... where do they even GET that? Always seemed the weirdest thing for him to come up with as it's so inapplicable. I think they need to get on wikipedia and do some research about the condition they are throwing about and clearly know nothing about!

(I always wondered, too, that if he really believed this to be true, surely he should be removing her from my evil clutches as soon as possible. Instead he has washed his hands of her and told her until she starts behaving in the way he would like her to, he wants nothing more to do wit her.)

Anyway, sorry to butt in on your thread - it was just very weird to read. I hope things are better for you now than they were when your wrote your post.

In response to: What more?

ElliLouCasual Contributor07 Jan 2015, 2:47 pm AEDT

Re: What more?

Things have definitely improved. There are still issues and she is still petrified of hospitals to the point of not being able to visit me while I was in.

Sophie, I hope things get better for your daughter. We simply have no contact with her father anymore and that has definitely been the catalyst for her getting better.

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